M\u0103 uit la sor\u0103-mea cum se piapt\u0103n\u0103 \u0219i m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc cum a\u0219 putea s\u0103 \u00eei pun gum\u0103 de mestecat \u00een p\u0103r. Vara a explodat \u00een zeci de perechi de pantaloni scur\u021bi pe care Andra le-a \u00een\u0219irat pe patul ei \u0219i acum le probeaz\u0103 pe r\u00e2nd. Blugi rup\u021bi, cu dungi, buline, sclipici, gata s\u0103 \u00eei stea pe cur p\u00e2n\u0103 la final de vacan\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 O s\u0103 iei b\u0103taie, nu fi proast\u0103, \u00eemi spune \u00een timp ce \u00ee\u0219i d\u0103 cu un ruj lucios pe buze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Proast\u0103 e\u0219ti tu!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Pe bune. Dac\u0103 te vede tata cu \u0219uvi\u021be blonde nu o s\u0103-i mai pese c\u0103 e\u0219ti ochelarist\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
E adev\u0103rat c\u0103 am privilegiul \u0103sta. Singura diferen\u021b\u0103 \u00eentre noi dou\u0103 e c\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd furia tatei se descarc\u0103 asupra noastr\u0103, Andra o \u00eencaseaz\u0103 direct peste fa\u021b\u0103, iar eu oriunde altundeva. Ochelarii sunt scumpi \u0219i am nevoie de ei ca s\u0103 v\u0103d ce scrie pe tabl\u0103 la \u0219coal\u0103. Din fericire, sora mea oricum se d\u0103 cu o ton\u0103 de fond de ten pe fa\u021b\u0103 ca s\u0103 ascund\u0103 toate relele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Vreau una singur\u0103. Doar o \u0219uvi\u021b\u0103, a\u0219a \u00een fa\u021b\u0103, \u00eei zic \u0219i flutur prin fa\u021ba ei o revist\u0103 de benzi desenate cu personajul meu preferat \u00een ac\u021biune.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Hai, m\u0103 la\u0219i cu t\u00e2mpeniile tale cu supereroi? \u0218i cum vrei s\u0103 te decolorezi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 M\u0103 duc la doamna Sanda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Doamna Sanda? Care o tundea pe mama?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu-i r\u0103spund. M\u0103 a\u0219ez turce\u0219te \u00een patul meu \u0219i o privesc din col\u021bul camerei cum \u00ee\u0219i arcuie\u0219te corpul \u00een fa\u021ba oglinzii. Poart\u0103 un tricou t\u0103iat deasupra buricului \u0219i o pereche de blugi care se termin\u0103 cu franjuri sub fesele ei rotunde. Cu fermoarul de la pantaloni desf\u0103cut \u0219i gura \u00eentredeschis\u0103, \u00ee\u0219i face o poz\u0103 cu telefonul, apoi \u00eencepe s\u0103 tasteze cu un r\u00e2njet t\u00e2mpit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Cui \u00eei trimi\u021bi poze din astea?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Treaba mea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Se \u00eencheie la pantaloni \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i mai trece o dat\u0103 m\u00e2na prin p\u0103rul lung, negru \u0219i des ca al mamei. A\u0219 putea s\u0103-i tai o \u0219uvi\u021b\u0103 zdrav\u0103n\u0103 de undeva din fa\u021b\u0103. S\u0103 a\u0219tept o zi din aia \u00een care vine acas\u0103 beat\u0103 dup\u0103 ce se \u00eent\u00e2lne\u0219te cu b\u0103ie\u021bii de a doi\u0219pea \u0219i \u00eencearc\u0103 din r\u0103sputeri s\u0103 par\u0103 c\u0103 e complet treaz\u0103, dar adoarme repede \u0219i ad\u00e2nc \u0219i \u00eencepe s\u0103 sfor\u0103ie. Nu ar fi deloc greu s\u0103 iau foarfeca din sertar \u0219i \u021bac!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u0103 amenin\u021b\u0103 \u00een timp ce iese din camer\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 S\u0103 nu cumva s\u0103 te vopse\u0219ti, ai auzit?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Ba da. \u0218coala oricum s-a terminat. \u0218i am bani din aloca\u021bie. Mi-am f\u0103cut deja programare la coafor, deci las\u0103-m\u0103-n pace!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Andra ofteaz\u0103 a\u0219a cum f\u0103cea mama c\u00e2nd sim\u021bea c\u0103 nu mai avea cu cine s\u0103 se \u00een\u021beleag\u0103. \u00ce\u0219i ia ghiozdanul \u0219i dispare din camer\u0103. Ciulesc urechile la conversa\u021bia din buc\u0103t\u0103rie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Unde pleci a\u0219a? \u00eentreab\u0103 tata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 M\u0103 duc la\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Nu te duci nic\u0103ieri a\u0219a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Dar trebuie s\u0103 merg\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Treci \u0219i schimb\u0103-te, altfel nu pleci nic\u0103ieri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Andra se \u00eentoarce ca o furtun\u0103 \u00een dormitor \u0219i tr\u00e2nte\u0219te ghiozdanul pe pat. \u00ce\u0219i ia un tricou larg \u0219i o fust\u0103 la nivelul genunchilor peste hainele ei de prostituat\u0103. Dup\u0103 ce trece de raza vizual\u0103 a balconului de unde tata poate s\u0103 o vad\u0103 plec\u00e2nd, are o scar\u0103 de bloc f\u0103r\u0103 interfon unde intr\u0103 de obicei s\u0103 se schimbe \u00een ce vrea ea. Iese iar din camer\u0103 cu pa\u0219i hot\u0103r\u00e2\u021bi. De data asta nu mai aud nimic altceva dec\u00e2t u\u0219a de la apartament tr\u00e2ntit\u0103 cu toat\u0103 for\u021ba ei de sl\u0103b\u0103noag\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
E r\u00e2ndul meu s\u0103 evadez.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Tu unde te mai duci? m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 tata \u0219i trage lung din \u021bigar\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 La Veronica, facem schimb de c\u0103r\u021bi. E mama ei acas\u0103 \u0219i a zis c\u0103 ne face cl\u0103tite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u021ainuta mea \u2013 blugi evaza\u021bi, tricou M de la b\u0103ie\u021bi, \u0219apc\u0103 \u2013 nu ridic\u0103 vreo problem\u0103. Tot ce m\u0103 face s\u0103 tremur e c\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u0103 nu m\u0103 duc unde spun c\u0103 m\u0103 duc dec\u00e2t dup\u0103 un mic ocol pe la coafor. Mi-am pus c\u00e2teva c\u0103r\u021bi \u0219i benzi desenate \u00een ghiozdan ca s\u0103 fiu acoperit\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Bine, morm\u0103ie el \u00eentr-un final.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ies din cas\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 tr\u00e2ntesc u\u0219a. C\u00e2nd ajung la doamna Sanda, forfota e sufocant\u0103. Aud voci de femei care se amestec\u0103 \u00een sunet de usc\u0103tor de p\u0103r, voci care povestesc \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103ri din familie, ce a zis cutare, ce a spus aialalt\u0103, la ce episod au ajuns din telenovela de la ora trei, ce au v\u0103zut la \u0219tiri, cu c\u00e2t s-a scumpit kilogramul de ro\u0219ii \u00een pia\u021b\u0103, c\u00e2t a costat o opera\u021bie de cezarian\u0103 \u0219i ce nepot frumos a ie\u0219it \u0219i, nu \u00een ultimul r\u00e2nd, care e cea mai bun\u0103 coafur\u0103 dac\u0103 ai fa\u021ba rotund\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ro\u0219cat\u0103, tuns\u0103 scurt, cu o \u0219uvi\u021b\u0103 roz \u0219i una albastr\u0103, doamna Sanda vorbe\u0219te rapid \u0219i vesel cu toate clientele. C\u00e2nd afl\u0103 de ce am venit \u0219i \u00eencepe s\u0103 m\u0103 ia la \u00eentreb\u0103ri. Ce face tata? \u0218tie c\u0103 am venit aici? Cum mai e pentru noi acas\u0103? La \u0219coal\u0103 e bine? De ce vreau eu s\u0103-mi stric frumuse\u021be de p\u0103r natural, nu-i p\u0103cat? Ba da, scumpa mea, e frumos, chiar dac\u0103 e mai pisicos. M-a sup\u0103rat cumva vreun b\u0103iat de vreau eu s\u0103 m\u0103 tund?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cen cele din urm\u0103 am plecat de acolo fericit\u0103. O singur\u0103 \u0219uvi\u021b\u0103 blond\u0103 \u00een claia mea de p\u0103r castaniu, plictisitor. Nu-mi mai pas\u0103 de nimic. Ar\u0103t cool<\/em>. Merg acas\u0103 la prietena mea Veronica \u0219i ea \u00eemi spune c\u0103 ar\u0103t cool<\/em>. Iar mama ei care ne face cl\u0103tite cu gem de caise \u00eemi spune c\u0103 ar\u0103t interesant<\/em>. \u00cen fine, ea nu se pune.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ajung acas\u0103 \u0219i \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 am \u00eent\u00e2rziat la masa de sear\u0103. \u00cencep s\u0103 tremur \u0219i \u00eemi bate inima ca la un concert de muzic\u0103 trap. Mi s-a uscat gura de tot. Transpira\u021bia mi-a umplut p\u0103rul de gr\u0103sime \u0219i \u0219tiu c\u0103 deja nu mai arat\u0103 a\u0219a de frumos ca atunci c\u00e2nd am plecat de la coafor. Nici nu \u00eendr\u0103znesc s\u0103 ridic privirea din p\u0103m\u00e2nt \u0219i intru \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie, unde tata \u0219i Andra stau deja la mas\u0103, dar nu \u00eendr\u0103znesc s\u0103 m\u0103 uit la ei. M\u0103 a\u0219ez pe scaunul meu f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 spun nimic \u0219i \u00eemi dau jos \u0219apca \u00een timp ce m\u0103 holbez la m\u00e2ncarea de maz\u0103re din farfurie. E ca \u0219i c\u00e2nd a\u0219tept un tr\u0103snet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar tr\u0103snetul nu vine. Ceva nu e \u00een regul\u0103. Ditamai omul \u00eencepe s\u0103 b\u0103lm\u0103jeasc\u0103 ni\u0219te cuvinte ca un copil mic care \u00eenc\u0103 nu \u0219tie s\u0103 lege propozi\u021bii cum trebuie. M\u0103 uit la el cu coada ochiului. Pentru o secund\u0103 sper c\u0103 tata are un atac cerebral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Dou\u0103 curve. M-a l\u0103sat pe mine aici cu voi. Eu am zis c\u0103 s-a dus \u00een rai, dar cred c\u0103 a cobor\u00e2t la \u0103la de jos s\u0103 dea directive. Ce-mi face\u021bi voi mie. A dracului soart\u0103. Numai curvele se poart\u0103 a\u0219a. Face\u021bi ce vre\u021bi. Pe mine s\u0103 m\u0103 l\u0103sa\u021bi \u00een pace, nu m\u0103 mai intereseaz\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cenc\u0103 nu \u00eendr\u0103znesc s\u0103 m\u0103 mi\u0219c. Ridic privirea spre Andra \u0219i casc gura f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 vreau. Sora mea, campioan\u0103 la selfie-uri sexy \u0219i cauza tuturor erec\u021biilor din liceu, \u0219i-a t\u0103iat tot p\u0103rul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tata pleac\u0103 de la mas\u0103 bomb\u0103nind doar pentru el, \u00ee\u0219i ia cheile \u0219i iese din cas\u0103. E r\u00e2ndul meu s\u0103 b\u0103lm\u0103jesc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Ce ai\u2026 De ce te-ai tuns?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are fa\u021ba umflat\u0103 \u0219i un obraz mai ro\u0219u, acolo unde furia tatei a c\u0103zut deja. Se vede c\u0103 a pl\u00e2ns, dar st\u0103 dreapt\u0103 pe scaun \u0219i \u00eemi vorbe\u0219te cu aceea\u0219i indiferen\u021b\u0103 ca \u00eentotdeauna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Ca s\u0103 \u00eentrebi tu, d-aia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Te-ai tuns singur\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Nu. Am mers la doamna Sanda dup\u0103 ce ai fost tu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Te-ai tuns pentru mine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tace \u0219i se uit\u0103 \u00een farfurie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Te-a \u00eentrebat \u0219i pe tine doamna Sanda dac\u0103 te-a sup\u0103rat vreun b\u0103iat?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Da. Cred c\u0103 e cel pu\u021bin \u00eengrijorat\u0103 pentru noi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Z\u00e2mbim stins \u00eempreun\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 M-am dus cu o poz\u0103 cu Rihanna, \u00eemi spune. Din videoclipul \u0103la cu umbrela.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Doar tu puteai s\u0103 te duci la coafor cu o poz\u0103 cu Rihanna \u0219i s\u0103 ie\u0219i ar\u0103t\u00e2nd ca Aeon Flux.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Iar m\u0103 iei cu faze de tocilar\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Aeon Flux e un agent secret, e o tip\u0103 dintr-o distopie cu tot felul de mutan\u021bi. Lupt\u0103 cu r\u0103uf\u0103c\u0103torii purt\u00e2nd doar ni\u0219te tanga din latex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mi-o \u0219i imaginez pe Andra strivind o musc\u0103 \u00eentre genele ei rimelate, a\u0219a cum \u00ee\u0219i prinde prada o plant\u0103 carnivor\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 E\u0219ti cea mai ciudat\u0103 fiin\u021b\u0103 din lume, \u00eemi spune. \u0218i acum mai \u0219i ar\u0103\u021bi ca un raton.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cemi dau p\u0103rul transpirat dup\u0103 urechi. M\u0103 uit la obrazul ei ro\u0219u care a \u00eenregistrat toat\u0103 furia pe care tata a avut-o \u00een el pe ziua de azi \u0219i nu \u00eemi vine nicio replic\u0103 de\u0219teapt\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Mul\u021bumesc, \u00eei zic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n St\u0103m \u00een lini\u0219te o vreme, fug\u0103rind boabe de maz\u0103re \u00een farfurii. Doar noi dou\u0103, un raton \u0219i un agent secret.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" O proz\u0103 de Adriana Jderu<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":287,"featured_media":9291,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1924,29],"tags":[1714,1923,167,1906],"coauthors":[1936],"class_list":["post-9301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-box-office-proza","category-fictiune","tag-adriana-jderu","tag-box-office-proza","tag-fictiune","tag-nr-7-8-9-2023"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Adriana-Jderu.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/287"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9301"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9303,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9301\/revisions\/9303"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9291"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9301"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=9301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}