Nu \u0219tiam prea multe despre tata. Mama, buni \u0219i bunelu nu vorbeau despre el. Nu vorbeau \u00een general \u00eentre ei, parc\u0103 erau sup\u0103ra\u021bi pe toat\u0103 lumea, iar eu, v\u0103z\u00e2ndu-i a\u0219a, n-aveam curaj s\u0103-i \u00eentreb nimic. Aflasem despre tata c\u0103 plecase c\u00e2nd aveam eu un an, \u0219i cam at\u00e2t. Aveam o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de \u00eentreb\u0103ri \u0219i abia a\u0219teptam s\u0103 se scape cineva, ca s\u0103 deschid subiectul, dar to\u021bi din familie t\u0103ceau ca mu\u021bii. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, s-a sc\u0103pat una din afar\u0103. C\u00e2nd am fost prima dat\u0103 la maic\u0103-mea la lucru, o coleg\u0103 de-a ei m-a ciufulit \u0219i a zis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Doamne, copile, pe c\u00e2t e\u0219ti de mic, pe-at\u00e2t e\u0219ti de \u00eenalt! Semeni cu tat\u0103-tu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Colega avea vocea pi\u021big\u0103iat\u0103. O chema tanti Lup \u0219i n-am putut s\u0103 m\u0103 concentrez din prima la ce zicea. Noroc c\u0103 am auzit-o pe mama r\u00e2z\u00e2nd aiurea, cum f\u0103cea de obicei c\u00e2nd primea laude \u0219i complimente, doar c\u0103 acum nu era vorba de ea. Colega a sim\u021bit c\u0103 a uitat ceva important \u0219i s-a m\u00e2\u021b\u00e2it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i e\u0219ti \u0219i frumos! Ca mami!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Tu de unde \u0219tii? am s\u0103rit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mama a r\u00e2s din nou proste\u0219te \u0219i m-a certat:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Cum vorbe\u0219ti a\u0219a cu tanti Lup?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Scuze, am spus. Dumneavoastr\u0103 de unde \u0219ti\u021bi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 P\u0103i, ce, nu-i frumoas\u0103 mami? E cea mai frumoas\u0103, c\u0103-i a ta!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I-am dat dreptate. Dac\u0103 ea, cu vocea ei de tanti Lup, zisese c\u0103 mama era frumoas\u0103, atunci \u0219i tata era \u00eenalt. Mie-n sut\u0103, cum zicea bunelu. Sau sut\u0103-n mie, mereu uitam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i las\u0103-m\u0103 cu dumneavoastr\u0103, c\u0103 nu-s a\u0219a b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103. Zi-mi Ani.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Bine, am spus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apoi s-a auzit un piuit. Mama \u0219i colega s-au uitat spre birourile lor. Un bec ro\u0219u era aprins pe biroul mamei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Du-te, a zis tanti Lup. Stau eu cu copilu\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mama a b\u0103tut la o u\u0219\u0103 capitonat\u0103 \u0219i a a\u0219teptat. Credeam c\u0103 o s\u0103 fie poftit\u0103 \u00een\u0103untru, dar de dup\u0103 u\u0219\u0103 s-a auzit o tuse groaznic\u0103, cum nu mai auzisem dec\u00e2t la mo\u0219ii de pe strad\u0103. M\u0103 a\u0219teptam s\u0103 urmeze \u0219i o flegm\u0103, dar tusea nu se mai oprea. M-am uitat \u00eengrijorat la tanti Lup. La Ani.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218efu\u2019 fumeaz\u0103 trei pachete pe zi, a\u0219a se laud\u0103, a spus ea \u00een \u0219oapt\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 E mult sau pu\u021bin? am \u00eentrebat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Tu ce zici?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu \u0219tiam ce s\u0103 zic, a\u0219a c\u0103 am t\u0103cut. M-am g\u00e2ndit c\u0103 Ani e o femeie dr\u0103gu\u021b\u0103, dar c\u00e2nd a r\u00e2s, i-am v\u0103zut din\u021bii galbeni, aproape maronii, \u0219i m-am r\u0103zg\u00e2ndit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dup\u0103 un minut, tusea a \u00eencetat \u0219i mama a deschis u\u0219a. A r\u0103mas \u00een prag \u0219i am apucat s\u0103 m\u0103 uit \u00een\u0103untru. \u00cenc\u0103perea era mai mic\u0103 dec\u00e2t cea \u00een care eram noi, dar totu\u0219i, spa\u021bioas\u0103. Pe un scaun de piele st\u0103tea un b\u0103rbat la un birou mai mare dec\u00e2t al mamei \u0219i al lui Ani la un loc. Sem\u0103na cu B\u0103sescu, dar \u00een niciun caz nu era mo\u0219, cum \u00eemi imaginasem. De fapt, nu prea sem\u0103na, dar avea o \u0219uvi\u021b\u0103 ca a lui. Era \u00eembr\u0103cat \u00eentr-o c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103 \u00een carouri \u0219i blugi. Pe perete era un tablou cu el la costum \u0219i cu \u0219uvi\u021ba aranjat\u0103. Omul a scos o batist\u0103 de m\u0103tase, \u0219i, \u00een timp ce-\u0219i sufla nasul, a zis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Intr\u0103 odat\u0103! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mama a intrat \u0219i a \u00eenchis u\u0219a. Din camera \u0219efului apucase s\u0103 ias\u0103 un nori\u0219or gri-alb\u0103strui de fum de \u021bigar\u0103. M-am uitat o vreme la el, p\u00e2n\u0103 s-a risipit, apoi m-am \u00eentors s\u0103 v\u0103d ce face Ani. Se dusese deja la biroul ei cel mic \u0219i se uita \u00eentr-un dosar roz cu \u0219in\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Ani, \u0219efu\u2019 nu se plictise\u0219te singur acolo? am \u00eentrebat. Aveam chef s-o b\u00e2z\u00e2i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 P\u0103i, ce, e singur? a r\u0103spuns ea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Da, am zis. Eu am nou\u0103 ani. Tu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Eu am de lucru, m\u0103 copile. Stai pe scaunu\u2019 lu\u2019 m\u0103-ta \u0219i nu ap\u0103sa pe butoane!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Bine, tanti Lup, am zis \u0219i m-am f\u0103cut c\u0103 ap\u0103s pe un buton, dar Ani nu m-a b\u0103gat \u00een seam\u0103. Am avut noroc, mama a ie\u0219it peste dou\u0103-trei minute. \u0218i-a dat ochii peste cap \u0219i a spus:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Hai la o \u00eenghe\u021bat\u0103, c\u0103 l-am prins pe prostu\u2019 \u0103sta \u00een toane bune. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Super, am zis. Pot s\u0103-mi iau profiterol?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 De ce s\u0103 nu po\u021bi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Aflasem de la Ani c\u0103 tata e \u00eenalt, iar acum urma s\u0103 merg cu mama prin ora\u0219. Eram bucuros. Poate o s\u0103 m\u0103 ia de m\u00e2n\u0103, ca \u00een prima zi de \u0219coal\u0103, m-am g\u00e2ndit. Dar nu m-a luat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A doua zi, am mers la buni \u0219i m-am uitat \u00een sertarul cu poze dup\u0103 to\u021bi b\u0103rba\u021bii necunoscu\u021bi \u0219i \u00eenal\u021bi. Cu greu am g\u0103sit trei. Majoritatea erau mici \u0219i cunoscu\u021bi. M-am dus cu ei la verificat. Buni f\u0103cea pl\u0103cint\u0103 cu dovleac, c\u0103 era s\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103. \u00cen fiecare s\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103, buni face ceva gustos. A\u0219a fac toate bunicile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0102sta cine-i? am \u00eentrebat \u0219i am pus degetul pe basca unuia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Unchi-tu Nicolae, de la Cern\u0103u\u021bi, a zis buni. Fratele lu\u2019 bunu-t\u0103u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I-am \u00eentins a doua poz\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i \u0103sta cl\u0103p\u0103ugu\u2019?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Frate-meu vitreg Volodea, de la One\u0219ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i \u0103sta \u00eenaltu\u2019 care r\u00e2de?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Buni a l\u0103sat pl\u0103cinta, \u0219i-a pus m\u00e2inile-n \u0219old \u0219i s-a uitat la mine foarte ur\u00e2t. Nu se uita a\u0219a nici c\u00e2nd \u00eei ziceam bunic\u0103 fr\u00e2naru, cum \u00eemi spunea bunelu s\u0103-i zic c\u00e2nd jucam \u0219eptic\u0103 pe pedepse. Eu \u00eel puneam s\u0103 gui\u021be ca Lucica-purcica sau s\u0103 miaune ca Juki-motanu\u2019, el m\u0103 trimitea mereu la buni. Doar atunci \u00eel vedeam r\u00e2z\u00e2nd cu poft\u0103. \u00cen rest, muncea de-i s\u0103reau capacele, iar c\u00e2nd se \u00eentuneca, se retr\u0103gea \u00een camera lui \u0219i bea \u021buic\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0102la \u00eenaltu\u2019 e un terchea-berchea! a strigat buni \u0219i s-a \u00eenro\u0219it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Habar n-aveam ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 terchea-berchea. Speram c\u0103 e de bine, a\u0219a cum sperasem \u0219i despre ospiciu c\u00e2nd doamna \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103toare ne-a zis c\u0103 o s\u0103 ne trimit\u0103 acolo dac\u0103 mai a\u021bipim la ora de autodictare. P\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 o \u00eentreb care-i faza cu terchea-berchea, mi-a smuls pozele din m\u00e2n\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Fugi de-aici, b\u0103iete, c\u0103 am treab\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Bine, bunic\u0103 fr\u00e2naru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Nu fi obraznic, a zis ea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dac\u0103 insistam, poate ridica palma. Nu d\u0103dea niciodat\u0103, dar era suficient s\u0103 o ridice \u0219i m\u0103 f\u0103ceam mic. \u0218i la bunelu o ridica \u0219i se f\u0103cea \u0219i el mic. Am a\u0219teptat p\u00e2n\u0103 a ie\u0219it la strad\u0103, la o b\u00e2rf\u0103 cu vecinele \u0219i m-am furi\u0219at \u00een camera cu poze. Nici urm\u0103 de terchea-berchea, l-am c\u0103utat p\u00e2n\u0103 m-am s\u0103turat. L-o fi ascuns, m-am g\u00e2ndit, mai f\u0103cea ea de astea, ascundea te miri pe unde bomboane, caramele, zah\u0103r cubic \u0219i alte chestii bune \u0219i mi le d\u0103dea cu por\u021bia. Seara m-am b\u0103gat \u00een pat \u0219i am \u00eencercat s\u0103-mi aduc aminte cum ar\u0103ta terchea-berchea, dar fe\u021bele lui Nicolae, Volodea \u0219i ale altor unchi se suprapuneau peste a lui. La un moment dat, nu l-am mai v\u0103zut deloc. Putea fi tata, era cu un cap mai \u00eenalt dec\u00e2t cei mai \u00eenal\u021bi \u0219i cu dou\u0103 dec\u00e2t ceilal\u021bi. Sut\u0103-n mie era el, m-am g\u00e2ndit \u0219i mi-a venit din senin s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng. Buni a fost pe faz\u0103, m-a m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat pe cap \u0219i a oftat, a\u0219a c\u0103, \u00een loc s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng, am luat-o de m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i am adormit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ta\u021bii copiilor de la \u0219coal\u0103 erau pitici. Sau a\u0219a-i vedeam eu de c\u00e2nd cu poza. Cu toate astea, era important s\u0103 se \u0219tie c\u0103 ai unul. B\u0103ie\u021bii ai c\u0103ror ta\u021bi nu ap\u0103reau niciodat\u0103 pe la \u0219coal\u0103 o luau cel mai des pe coaj\u0103 \u0219i m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam de multe ori c\u0103 \u00eentr-o zi o s\u0103 vin\u0103 terchea-berchea \u0219i o s\u0103 pun\u0103 lucrurile la punct. Singurul b\u0103iat cu care m-am \u00eemprietenit era Mario. Ne \u0219tiam de la gr\u0103di \u0219i eram vecini. Mario avea un tat\u0103 barosan. Nu era foarte \u00eenalt, dar era cel mai solid b\u0103rbat de pe strad\u0103. Avea o burt\u0103 perfect\u0103, nici prea mare, nici prea mic\u0103, un l\u0103n\u021bug de un kil la g\u00e2t \u0219i un ghiul pe post de verighet\u0103. \u00cel salutam de fiecare dat\u0103 cu respect:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 S\u0103ru-m\u00e2na, nea Romi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mi-ar fi pl\u0103cut s\u0103 fie el taic\u0103-meu, recunosc. M\u0103 d\u0103deam pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 Mario, \u00eei ziceam c\u0103-i st\u0103 fain freza, c\u0103 e dur, c\u0103 e \u0219mecher, lui \u00eei convenea, dar, c\u00e2nd ap\u0103rea taic\u0103-su, era porc \u0219i se f\u0103cea c\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai cunoa\u0219te. \u00cei zicea pe nume, Romi, s\u0103 ne atrag\u0103 aten\u021bia ce prieteni are. Barosanul nu-l prea b\u0103ga \u00een seam\u0103. Nici polite\u021bea mea nu-l impresiona. M-am tot g\u00e2ndit ce naiba s\u0103-i spun ca s\u0103-i atrag aten\u021bia. \u00centr-o zi, c\u00e2nd a venit s\u0103-l ia pe Mario, l-am apucat de ghiul \u0219i i-am zis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Nea Romi, un tat\u0103 mic nu-i bun de nimic, a\u0219a-i?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
El s-a spart de r\u00e2s:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 A\u0219a-i, a\u0219a-i. Da\u2019 ia zi-mi tu mie, ce mai face m\u0103-ta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eram \u00een culmea fericirii c\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentreba ceva \u0219i am zis pe ner\u0103suflate:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Face bine \u0219i e frumoas\u0103 \u0219i tata e \u00eenalt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i-o pul\u0103, a completat el \u0219i a r\u00e2s at\u00e2t de tare, c\u0103 mi s-a p\u0103rut c\u0103 m\u0103 mi\u0219c odat\u0103 cu burta lui.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A plecat leg\u0103n\u00e2ndu-se ca un pinguin. Nu m-am sup\u0103rat pe el, c\u00e2t pe fi-su. Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 c\u0103 se hlizea f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u0219tie de ce, m\u0103 mai \u0219i ar\u0103ta cu degetul \u0219i-mi zicea:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i-o pul\u0103\u0103, ihihi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mi-a trecut imediat, nu aveam al\u021bi prieteni \u00een afar\u0103 de Mario.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu-mi pl\u0103cea deloc la \u0219coal\u0103. Trebuia s\u0103 fiu mereu pe faz\u0103, Darth \u0219i Vader, bandi\u021bii clasei, \u00ee\u0219i f\u0103ceau de cap \u00een fiecare zi. Bine, numele lor adev\u0103rate erau Luca \u0219i Lucas, dar ne-au zis din clasa \u00eent\u00e2i s\u0103-i strig\u0103m Darth \u0219i Vader \u0219i ne-am executat, c\u0103 se uitau ur\u00e2t \u0219i erau bine f\u0103cu\u021bi \u0219i umblau mereu \u00eempreun\u0103. N-aveai cum s\u0103-i pui jos. Doamna Otilia, \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103toarea noastr\u0103, ie\u0219ea la \u021bigar\u0103 \u00een fiecare pauz\u0103. Nici nu \u00eenchidea bine u\u0219a, c\u0103 Darth striga:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 B\u0103 Vader, m\u0103 plictisesc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vader zicea:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i io, b\u0103 Darth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Le pl\u0103cea s\u0103-\u0219i aud\u0103 numele. Bandi\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
C\u00e2nd auzeam c\u0103 se plictisesc, intram \u00een alert\u0103. \u0102ia doi se \u00eentorceau cu spatele \u0219i \u0219u\u0219oteau ca doi oameni mari. Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd, chicoteau ca b\u0103ie\u021beii. Nu \u0219tiam niciodat\u0103 ce plan au \u0219i nici de cine o s\u0103 se ia. Dac\u0103 se apropiau de Mario, \u0103sta ridica m\u00e2na \u0219i striga parola:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Roomiii!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 A, da, zicea Darth. Sau Vader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Barosanu\u2019 i-a \u00eenghesuit odat\u0103 pe am\u00e2ndoi la perete \u0219i i-a f\u0103cut afi\u0219 cu burta \u0219i i-a pus s\u0103-\u0219i cear\u0103 scuze \u0219i s\u0103 dea m\u00e2na cu fi-su. De-atunci nu s-au mai luat de Mario, doar \u00eel speriau din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd. Aveau la dispozi\u021bie o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de variante mai simple. Prefera\u021bii lor erau copiii dup\u0103 care veneau bunicii. Babele \u0219i mo\u0219ii nu contau, puteau fi lua\u021bi la mi\u0219to. La fel \u0219i mamele, oric\u00e2t de aprige ar fi fost. Odat\u0103 un sl\u0103b\u0103nog s-a l\u0103udat c\u0103 maic\u0103-sa e judec\u0103toare \u0219i-i bag\u0103 la pu\u0219c\u0103rie dac\u0103 se ating de el, dar Vader i-a t\u0103iat-o:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i ce, m\u0103-ta n-are ciclu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu \u0219tiam ce-i \u0103la, dar suna a batjocur\u0103 \u0219i am r\u00e2s to\u021bi, mai pu\u021bin sl\u0103b\u0103nogul, care \u0219tia c\u0103 urmeaz\u0103 s\u0103 \u0219i-o ia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cei dup\u0103 care nu venea nimeni erau imprevizibili. Mai ales D\u0103nu\u021b. Odat\u0103 Darth \u0219i Vader i-au zis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 D\u0103-ne m\u0103ru\u2019 t\u0103u. Lu\u0103m c\u00e2te o mu\u0219c\u0103\u2019 \u0219i \u021bi-l d\u0103m \u00eenapoi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Toat\u0103 lumea \u0219tia c\u0103 e vr\u0103jeal\u0103, a\u0219a f\u0103ceau mereu, te luau cu bini\u0219orul \u0219i-\u021bi luau toat\u0103 m\u00e2ncarea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cen loc s\u0103 pi\u0219e ochii, D\u0103nu\u021b \u0219i-a b\u0103gat m\u0103rul \u00een chilo\u021bi \u0219i le-a zis r\u00e2z\u00e2nd:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Poft\u0103 bun\u0103, bandi\u021bilor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0102ia l-au luat imediat la pumni, dar D\u0103nu\u021b nu s-a l\u0103sat. R\u00e2dea \u0219i c\u00e2nd d\u0103dea pumni, \u0219i c\u00e2nd primea. Mai ales c\u00e2nd primea. Cu c\u00e2t \u00eel loveau Darth \u0219i Vader mai r\u0103u, cu-at\u00e2t mai tare r\u00e2dea el. F\u0103cea ca o mitralier\u0103 din filme, trrrrrrrrrr, trrrrrrrrrr, \u0219i ne-am molipsit imediat \u0219i-am \u00eenceput s\u0103 r\u00e2dem. Dup\u0103 c\u00e2teva minute, Darth a zis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 B\u0103 Vader, am obosit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i io. Hai s\u0103 r\u00e2dem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Hai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218i s-au pus \u0219i ei pe r\u00e2s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218ase, \u0219ase! a strigat cineva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am oprit mitralierele \u0219i ne-am \u00eentors spre u\u0219\u0103. Nu ne-am potolit din prima, r\u00e2deam ba pe fa\u021b\u0103, ba pe-nfundate, iar doamna Otilia, ne\u0219tiind ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103, s-a hlizit cot la cot cu noi. O recuno\u0219team \u2013 t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103, frumoas\u0103, \u00eenalt\u0103, aproape transparent\u0103, cu pielea c\u00e2nd cafenie, c\u00e2nd verzuie, cu ochi mari, de culoarea pielii, \u0219i totu\u0219i, parc\u0103 nu era ea, ea nu r\u00e2dea niciodat\u0103, doar z\u00e2mbea ca o fantom\u0103. R\u00e2sul o pocea \u0219i o \u00eemb\u0103tr\u00e2nea, babaaa, a zbierat Darth, cloan\u021ba, a completat Vader, iar noi, restul, am prins curaj \u0219i ne-am b\u0103tut cu m\u00e2inile pe burt\u0103, singurul care pl\u00e2ngea era D\u0103nu\u021b, la-nceput f\u0103r\u0103 voce, apoi tot mai tare, p\u00e2n\u0103 a ajuns s\u0103 scheaune ca un c\u00e2ine lovit. L-am acoperit cu r\u00e2sete, dar tot \u00eel auzeam schel\u0103l\u0103ind. La un moment dat, \u0219i-a suflat mucii pe c\u00e2te o nar\u0103, ca fotbali\u0219tii, a scos m\u0103rul din ascunz\u0103toare, a mu\u0219cat din el \u0219i a scuipat bucata spre Darth, a mu\u0219cat iar \u0219i a scuipat spre Vader, \u0219i a \u021binut-o a\u0219a p\u00e2n\u0103 ne-a scuipat pe mai mul\u021bi, o cam luase razna \u0219i ne-a p\u0103rut un pic r\u0103u de el \u0219i am t\u0103cut pe r\u00e2nd, numai doamna Otilia r\u00e2dea ca o vr\u0103jitoare, de parc\u0103 uitase c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 ne potoleasc\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 ne pun\u0103 la punct. S-a oprit abia c\u00e2nd i-a zburat un cotor de m\u0103r pe la ureche. A z\u00e2mbit cum z\u00e2mbea ea \u0219i a zis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Scumpilor, m\u0103 duc la o cafelu\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u0103 ascunsesem de c\u00e2teva ori dup\u0103 Mario \u0219i sc\u0103pasem de Darth \u0219i Vader. \u00centr-o zi, pe prietenul meu l-a mu\u0219cat un c\u00e2ine \u0219i s-a dus s\u0103-\u0219i fac\u0103 injec\u021bie \u00een burt\u0103. Bandi\u021bii au pus imediat ochii pe mine. M-au luat pe dup\u0103 umeri \u0219i m-au dus l\u00e2ng\u0103 geam, ca pe fratele lor. Am \u00eencercat s\u0103-i \u00eembunez:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 V\u0103 rog io!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vader f\u0103cea pe prostu\u2019:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Ce ne rogi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 S\u0103 nu-mi face\u021bi nimic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Asta nu se poate, a zis Darth. E r\u00e2ndul t\u0103u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mi-a venit o idee. Am ridicat m\u00e2na \u0219i am strigat:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Nea Romi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Nea Romi?! B\u0103, Vader, cine pula ta-i nea Romi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Nu \u0219tiu, a zis Vader. Umflatu\u2019?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M-am pierdut de tot:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Taic\u0103-meu e \u00eenalt, am zis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bandi\u021bii s-au uitat unul la altul \u0219i au murit de r\u00e2s. Se \u00eenghionteau \u0219i r\u00e2deau. \u00cen timp ce se-mpingeau pe-acolo, au dat peste un ghiveci cu flori de pe pervaz. Ghiveciul s-a izbit de podea \u0219i s-a spart \u00een mii de buc\u0103\u021bi. Am plecat \u0219i-am r\u00e2s \u00eenfundat, pe sub banc\u0103. Sc\u0103pasem. Doamna Otilia a ap\u0103rut cu \u021bigara neaprins\u0103 \u00eentre degete. \u0218i-a pus-o \u00eentre buzele date finu\u021b cu ro\u0219u \u0219i a zis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Ai un foc, dr\u0103gu\u021bule?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu \u0219tiam cine era dr\u0103gu\u021bul c\u0103ruia \u00eei cerea zilnic foc. I-am zis Fant\u00f4mas, ne-am obi\u0219nuit repede cu el \u0219i aproape c\u0103 nu-l mai b\u0103gam \u00een seam\u0103. \u021aigara doamnei Otilia r\u0103m\u00e2nea mereu neaprins\u0103. Ea a tras un fum cu ochii \u00eenchi\u0219i, a suflat spre ghiveci \u0219i a zis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Mul\u021bumesc, dr\u0103gu\u021bule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apoi, c\u0103tre noi:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Scumpilor, cine-a f\u0103cut cioburi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am t\u0103cut to\u021bi. Oric\u00e2t de r\u0103u ne-n\u021belegeam, la faze de astea eram uni\u021bi \u0219i ne pref\u0103ceam c\u0103 n-am v\u0103zut nimic. Unii se uitau pe geam, al\u021bii f\u0103ceau pe s\u00e2rguincio\u0219ii \u0219i deschideau caietele, al\u021bii ridicau din umeri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Lucas, tu ai fost? a \u00eentrebat \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103toarea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 N-am fost eu \u0219i nu m\u0103 cheam\u0103 Lucas, a zis Vader. M\u0103 cheam\u0103 Vader!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Biiiiine. Atunci cine?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Buna Ioan, un b\u00e2lb\u00e2it care venise de vreo lun\u0103 la noi \u00een clas\u0103 \u0219i lua b\u0103taie constant, m-a ar\u0103tat cu degetul \u0219i a spus:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 El a f-fost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M-am prins c\u0103 vrea s\u0103-i salveze pe bandi\u021bi, ca s\u0103 nu \u0219i-o mai ia de la ei. Am vrut s\u0103 m\u0103 ap\u0103r, s\u0103 zic c\u0103 nu-i corect, dar doamna Otilia a venit \u00eentr-o clipit\u0103 l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine \u0219i mi-a pus degetul pe buze. Niciodat\u0103 nu venise a\u0219a aproape \u0219i nu-mi aduceam aminte s\u0103 fi atins pe altcineva pe buze. Poate fac infarct, m-am g\u00e2ndit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 N-am fost eu, am morm\u0103it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218hhh, a f\u0103cut ea. Haide\u021bi, scumpilor, fiecare s\u0103-mi arate cine a fost. Nu plec\u0103m acas\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 nu afl\u0103m adev\u0103rul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unii se uit\u0103 la m\u00e2inile doamnei Otilia, al\u021bii la picioarele ei, al\u021bii la umeri, iar cei mai curajo\u0219i, la pieptul ei, la mere, cum ar zice cei cumin\u021bi, la \u021b\u00e2\u021be, cum ar zice bandi\u021bii. \u00cencerc s\u0103 m\u0103 uit \u00een ochii ei, dar nu-mi iese, nu reu\u0219esc s\u0103 privesc oamenii mari \u00een ochi \u0219i s\u0103 le spun adev\u0103rul. Simt miros de cafelu\u021b\u0103, m\u0103 uit la ni\u0219te buze sub\u021biri \u0219i mi se par din ce \u00een ce mai groase, \u00een cur\u00e2nd m\u0103 vor \u00eenghi\u021bi. Darth \u0219i Vader \u00ee\u0219i \u0219optesc ceva la ureche \u0219i spun deodat\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Buna Ioan a fost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
V\u0103d tot mai multe degete \u00eendreptate spre Buna Ioan. Bandi\u021bii sunt prea periculo\u0219i, n-ai cum s\u0103 dai vina pe ei. A\u0219 putea s\u0103 zic c\u0103 nu-i adev\u0103rat, dar cine sunt eu s\u0103 fac dreptate? Dou\u0103 fete ur\u00e2te, Marcela \u0219i Manuela, pl\u00e2ng f\u0103r\u0103 zgomot. Le pare r\u0103u de \u0103la, \u00eemi sunt dintr-odat\u0103 simpatice. B\u00e2lb\u00e2itul se uit\u0103 disperat la bandi\u021bi. Ce fraier, o s\u0103 trebuiasc\u0103 s\u0103 aduc\u0103 un ghiveci \u0219i o s\u0103 fie caftit \u00een continuare. Nu \u0219tie regulile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Se aude o b\u0103taie \u00een u\u0219\u0103. \u00cen sal\u0103 intr\u0103 un b\u0103rbat. E cel mai \u00eenalt om pe care l-am v\u0103zut vreodat\u0103. Un fel de Gulliver cu fa\u021b\u0103 ro\u0219ie, coam\u0103 alb\u0103 \u0219i burt\u0103 de nea Romi. Are un buchet de bujori \u00een bra\u021be \u0219i trage dup\u0103 el un camion cu cabin\u0103 ro\u0219ie, remorc\u0103 galben\u0103 \u0219i ro\u021bi albastre. El e! Chiar o s\u0103 fac infarct!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 S\u0103rut m\u00e2na, zice Gulliver respectuos, dar nu cum \u00eel salut eu pe barosan, ci cu aere de mare zmeu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Doamna Otilia duce m\u00e2na la gur\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Dr\u0103gu\u021bule! Ai venit, p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 ai venit. Ai un foc?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Copilu\u2019-nt\u00e2i, spune el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Se uit\u0103 prin sal\u0103 ca un leu ie\u0219it la v\u00e2n\u0103toare, m\u0103 vede, se lumineaz\u0103, r\u00e2de ca-n poz\u0103 \u0219i m\u0103 arat\u0103 cu degetul:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Feciorul meu!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Eu am fost, nu Buna Ioan! am \u021bipat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218i am alergat spre terchea-berchea cu bra\u021bele deschise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Fragment de roman de Bogdan Munteanu<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":5876,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1924,29],"tags":[360,1923,167,1906],"coauthors":[1374],"class_list":["post-9257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-box-office-proza","category-fictiune","tag-bogdan-munteanu","tag-box-office-proza","tag-fictiune","tag-nr-7-8-9-2023"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Bogdan-Munteanu.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9257"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9266,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9257\/revisions\/9266"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5876"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9257"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=9257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}