Deopotriv\u0103 realiste \u0219i fantastice, hilare \u0219i triste, cathartice \u0219i cople\u0219itoare, prozele lui Florin Irimia ofer\u0103 piesele unui puzzle care, odat\u0103 asamblat, \u00ee\u0219i schimb\u0103 func\u021bia pentru a crea noi imagini \u0219i, implicit, sensuri. Scriitor \u0219i profesor cu voca\u021bia rat\u0103rii, Sebastian, personajul-cheie al celor nou\u0103 povestiri, este victima farselor destinului \u0219i a propriei imagina\u021bii \u00eentr-o lume \u00een care c\u0103utarea permanent\u0103 a identit\u0103\u021bii vine la pachet cu \u00eensingurare, depresie, insecuritate emo\u021bional\u0103 \u0219i duce la o \u201ereinventare\u201d periculoas\u0103, c\u0103ci, uneori, evadarea din prezent nu te face dec\u00e2t prizonier al trecutului.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cen Germania nu te duci ca-n America, s\u0103 te prezin\u0163i vecinilor. \u00cen Germania, discre\u0163ia, anonimitatea sunt mai presus de curtoazie. A\u015fa c\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103-nfiin\u0163ez la ea la u\u015f\u0103 cu o pr\u0103jitur\u0103 sau mai \u015ftiu eu ce era exclus ca prim\u0103 form\u0103 de interac\u0163iune. \u00cen schimb, puteam s\u0103 invoc un alt pretext, \u015fi anume c\u0103 aveam nevoie de ceva. Dar de ce? De o c\u0103ni\u0163\u0103 de ulei sau de zah\u0103r? Nu mergea, nu mai eram \u00een comunism. De o \u015furubelni\u0163\u0103? Poate, de\u015fi tot nu. Atunci? De un laptop! Da! Aveam s\u0103 m\u0103 duc s\u0103 \u00eemprumut un laptop pentru c\u0103 al meu se stricase \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 o unealt\u0103 de scris nu puteam func\u0163iona. Asta-mi oferea un pretext numai bun ca s\u0103-i spun c\u00e2teva lucruri despre mine, cu ce m\u0103 ocupam \u015fi pentru ce respiram aerul berlinez, at\u00e2t de d\u0103t\u0103tor de energie, \u015fi nu pe cel de la mine din \u0163ar\u0103, d\u0103t\u0103tor de boli de pl\u0103m\u00e2ni. \u015etiam deja pe la ce or\u0103 se-ntoarce, aveam suficient timp la dispozi\u0163ie s\u0103-mi preg\u0103tesc un discurs suficient de elaborat ca s\u0103 par\u0103 spontan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201e\u015ei, gata, deja m-ai uitat?\u201c, i-am auzit vocea lui Ingrid. \u201eNu te-am uitat, dar trebuie s\u0103 merg mai departe. \u015etii cum se spune, mor\u0163ii cu mor\u0163ii, viii cu viii.\u201c \u201eNu mi-a pl\u0103cut niciodat\u0103 vorba asta. Se cunoa\u015fte c\u0103 e inventat\u0103 de un viu. M\u0103car dac\u0103 a\u015fteptai \u015fi tu patruzeci de zile.\u201c \u201eN-au trecut \u00eenc\u0103?\u201c \u201eHai, nu face pe de\u015fteptu\u2019!\u201c \u201eP\u0103i, n-ai zis tu c\u0103 vrei s\u0103 mi-o trag?\u201c \u201e\u015ei nu \u0163i-o po\u0163i trage c-o moart\u0103?\u201c \u201eCe vrei s\u0103 spui?\u201c \u201eLuz\u0103r l\u0103bar ce e\u015fti, nu po\u0163i s\u0103 faci o lab\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 te g\u00e2nde\u015fti la mine?\u201c \u201eBa poate a\u015f putea dac\u0103 ai mai fi \u00een via\u0163\u0103.\u201c \u201e\u015ei cine m-a omor\u00e2t?\u201c \u201eTouch\u00e9!\u201c \u201eP\u0103i, vezi!\u201c \u201eOK, fac o lab\u0103 g\u00e2ndindu-m\u0103 la tine, dar apoi m\u0103 la\u015fi \u00een pace!\u201c \u201eOK, dar vreau s\u0103 dureze. Nu m\u0103 expediezi a\u015fa, cu una, cu dou\u0103, cum f\u0103ceai c\u00e2nd eram \u00een via\u0163\u0103.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I-am f\u0103cut pe plac doamnei mele g\u00e2ndindu-m\u0103 la partidele noastre de sex, care nu erau rele, aveau o intensitate a lor aparte \u015fi durau mult, poate datorit\u0103 lipsei noastre de inhibi\u0163ii, dar mai ales a faptului c\u0103 de cele mai multe ori se-nt\u00e2mplau dup\u0103 o ceart\u0103. \u201ePo\u0163i s\u0103 ejaculezi acum\u201c, am auzit-o la un moment dat. \u201eEjaculeaz\u0103!\u201c \u201eNu pot a\u015fa la comand\u0103!\u201c \u201eImagineaz\u0103-\u0163i ce vrei tu, numai ejaculeaz\u0103!\u201c \u201eCred c\u0103 mai bine o l\u0103s\u0103m pe alt\u0103 dat\u0103!\u201c \u201eEjaculeaz\u0103, l\u0103baru\u2019 dracului!\u201c \u201eNu!\u201c \u201eDu-te-n pizda m\u0103-tii!\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mi-am luat mintea de la ea \u015fi m\u00e2na de pe penis \u015fi am \u00eencercat s\u0103 m\u0103 reintegrez realit\u0103\u0163ii. Trecuse deja de 9 c\u00e2nd m-am uitat la ceas, vecina mea sigur se-ntorsese acas\u0103, puteam s\u0103 m\u0103-nfiin\u0163ez la ea la u\u015f\u0103. Oare era o idee bun\u0103, totu\u015fi? Nu mai bine o l\u0103sam \u00een pace? P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, ce credeam c\u0103 se poate \u00eent\u00e2mpla \u00eentre noi? Ea e actri\u0163\u0103, joac\u0103 \u00een filme, arat\u0103 ca un super model, tu \u00een schimb cine e\u015fti? \u201eUn luz\u0103r l\u0103bar\u201c, s-a b\u0103gat doamna mea \u00een seam\u0103. \u201eTaci, Ingrid!\u201c, i-am spus. \u201e\u015ei mai \u00eenceteaz\u0103 naibii cu apelativul \u0103sta!\u201c \u201eEi, ce s\u0103-\u0163i spun, domnu\u2019 se-arice\u015fte. Poate c\u0103 \u00eenainte ar trebui s\u0103 te g\u00e2nde\u015fti la ce mi-ai f\u0103cut!\u201c \u201eTe-am str\u00e2ns de g\u00e2t, da, m-am g\u00e2ndit de o sut\u0103 de ori la ce \u0163i-am f\u0103cut. \u015ei nu am ce s\u0103-\u0163i fac, \u00een afar\u0103 de ce \u0163i-am f\u0103cut, \u00eenapoi la via\u0163\u0103 nu mai pot s\u0103 te-aduc! \u00cemi pare r\u0103u!\u201c \u201eLas\u0103 scuzele. Oricum nu-mi folosesc la nimic. Mai bine zi-mi ce-ai f\u0103cut cu mine dup\u0103 ce-am murit. Nu te-am \u00eentrebat niciodat\u0103.\u201c \u201eIngrid, tu e\u015fti sadic\u0103? La ce-\u0163i folose\u015fte s\u0103 te g\u00e2nde\u015fti acum la asta? Chiar n-ai nimic altceva mai bun de f\u0103cut?\u201c \u201eSe pare c\u0103 nu.\u201c \u201eN-ai ajuns \u00een rai? Ai fi meritat s\u0103 ajungi \u00een rai, dac\u0103 e s\u0103 m\u0103-ntrebi pe mine.\u201c \u201eNu prea \u015ftiu unde am ajuns. \u015ei oricum nu se-nt\u00e2mpl\u0103 nimic aici unde sunt. M\u0103 simt cam l\u0103sat\u0103 de izbeli\u015fte, sincer.\u201c \u201eCum, n-a venit nimeni s\u0103 te ia \u00een primire? Vreun \u00eenger, ceva?\u201c \u201eNu.\u201c \u201e\u015ei unde e\u015fti?\u201c \u201eAm impresia c\u0103-ntr-o gar\u0103. Sau mai corect \u00eentr-o halt\u0103. Exist\u0103 un peron, dar nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 trece vreun tren pe-aici. \u015ei oricum sunt numai eu. Nimeni altcineva. Nici m\u0103car un c\u00e2ine.\u201c \u201e\u00cemi pare r\u0103u. Dac\u0103 a\u015f putea, a\u015f veni s\u0103-\u0163i \u0163in companie.\u201c \u201eEi, nu mai spune!\u201c \u201eSerios!\u201c \u201eP\u0103i, \u015fi ce te opre\u015fte?\u201c \u201eFaptul c\u0103 sunt \u00eenc\u0103 \u00een via\u0163\u0103?\u201c \u201eEi, dar asta se poate rezolva destul de u\u015for, a\u015f zice.\u201c \u201eIngrid, s\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 numai pentru c\u0103 te-am omor\u00e2t nu inten\u0163ionez s\u0103 m\u0103 omor \u015fi pe mine.\u201c \u201ePoate mai \u00eencolo, atunci.\u201c \u201e\u00centr-o zi, cu siguran\u0163\u0103. Ceea ce nu-nseamn\u0103 c\u0103 tu ai s\u0103 fii \u00een continuare acolo.\u201c \u201eOm tr\u0103i \u015fi-om vedea. Sau, m\u0103 rog, \u00een\u0163elegi tu.\u201c Pentru o clip\u0103 s-a a\u015fternut t\u0103cerea \u015fi-am crezut c\u0103 s-a dus \u00eentr-ale ei. Dar apoi am auzit-o din nou. \u201e\u015ei totu\u015fi, nu mi-ai zis ce-ai f\u0103cut cu mine. Unde m-ai \u00eengropat?\u201c \u201eOf, e\u015fti cumplit\u0103! \u00centr-o p\u0103dure. Mul\u0163umit\u0103 acum?\u201c \u201e\u00centr-o p\u0103dure? Ce romantic! Sub un stejar, cumva?\u201c \u201eVrei cam multe.\u201c \u201eP\u0103cat, mi-ar fi pl\u0103cut s\u0103 fiu \u00eengropat\u0103 sub un stejar. Oricum, e mai bine dec\u00e2t \u00eentr-un cimitir. Tot timpul am ur\u00e2t cimitirele!\u201c \u201eCred c\u0103 e un brad \u00een apropiere\u201c, i-am zis. \u201eCel pu\u0163in \u00eentr-unul din locuri.\u201c \u201eCum adic\u0103 \u00eentr-unul din locuri? Da\u2019 \u00een c\u00e2te locuri m-ai \u00eengropat?\u201c Mi-am dat seama c\u0103 m\u0103 luase gura pe dinainte, dar era deja prea t\u00e2rziu. \u201e\u00cen patru.\u201c \u201eCum adic\u0103 \u00een patru? Mi-ai \u00eengropat inima \u00eentr-un loc, capul \u00een alt loc \u015fi trupul \u00een altul?\u201c \u201eDa, cam a\u015fa ceva.\u201c \u201e\u015ei \u00een al patrulea loc ce-ai \u00eengropat?\u201c \u201eM\u00e2inile \u015fi picioarele.\u201c \u201eM\u00e2inile \u015fi picioarele? O, Dumnezeule, m-ai tran\u015fat! Pentru ce? Pentru ce-ai f\u0103cut asta?\u201c \u201eP\u0103i, doar nu era s\u0103 te iau cu totul! Cum aveam s\u0103 te car? Dac\u0103 m\u0103 vedea cineva?\u201c \u201e\u015ei a\u015fa cum m-ai c\u0103rat?\u201c \u201e\u00cen ni\u015fte saci de gunoi. Pe care i-am pus \u00een ni\u015fte gen\u0163i.\u201c \u201eO, Doamne, cred c\u0103 mi se face r\u0103u! Cred c\u0103 le\u015fin.\u201c \u201e\u0162i se mai poate face r\u0103u? Nu credeam\u2026\u201c \u201eM-ai h\u0103cuit! Nu-mi vine s\u0103 cred! M-ai h\u0103cuit ca pe-o vit\u0103!\u201c \u201eEi hai, nu spune asta! Nu te-am f\u0103cut niciodat\u0103 vit\u0103!\u201c \u201eEi, nu!\u201c \u201eNu vit\u0103. Poate vac\u0103!\u201c \u201e\u015ei nu-i totuna?\u201c \u201eAtunci, OK, te-am h\u0103cuit ca pe-o vit\u0103! Ce mai vrei?\u201c \u201eCe prost e\u015fti!\u201c \u201eDa? Nu mai sunt luz\u0103r l\u0103bar?\u201c \u201eBa e\u015fti, dar mai e\u015fti \u015fi prost pe deasupra!\u201c \u201eDe ce?\u201c \u201ePentru c\u0103 \u0163i-am dat o \u015fans\u0103 s\u0103 fii domn, iar tu tot mitocan ai ales s\u0103 fii!\u201c \u201eNu-n\u0163eleg \u015fi sincer m\u0103 cam \u0163ii \u00een loc.\u201c \u201eTe mai \u00eentreb o dat\u0103: cum m-ai h\u0103cuit? Ca pe o ce?\u201c \u201eIngrid, pe bune, las-o moart\u0103! Scuze! \u00cen\u0163elegi ce vreau s\u0103 spun.\u201c \u201eBoule!\u201c \u201eVaco!\u201c \u201eIdiotul naibii!\u201c \u201eProasta dracului! O mai \u0163inem mult a\u015fa?\u201c \u201eO mai \u0163inem p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegi unde-ai gre\u015fit.\u201c \u201eAm gre\u015fit c\u0103 te-am omor\u00e2t, \u015ftiu asta, dar ce mai pot s\u0103 fac acum?\u201c \u201eNu la asta m\u0103 refer, de\u015fi, da, ai gre\u015fit \u015fi c\u00e2nd m-ai omor\u00e2t. Dar acum e vorba de altceva. E vorba de h\u0103cuial\u0103. \u015ei \u00een loc de \u00abvac\u0103\u00bb, puteai s-o spui mai frumos, mai romantic.\u201c \u201eMai romantic?\u201c \u201eExact. Puteai s\u0103 spui c\u0103 m-ai h\u0103cuit ca pe o regin\u0103. Sau ca pe o voievoad\u0103!\u201c \u201eIngrid, nu exist\u0103 voievoade. Numai voievozi. Voievozi \u015fi doamnele lor.\u201c \u201eP\u0103cat, ar fi trebuit s\u0103 existe. Poate atunci lumea ar fi fost mai bun\u0103.\u201c \u201eCu siguran\u0163\u0103 ar fi fost, dar nu asta-i problema. Problema e c\u0103 eu m\u0103 cam gr\u0103besc \u015fi tu \u015ftii asta \u015fi cred c\u0103 toat\u0103 \u015farada asta cu \u00abputeai s-o spui mai frumos\u00bb e inten\u0163ionat\u0103 \u015fi c\u0103, dac\u0103 \u0163i-a\u015f fi spus \u00abregin\u0103\u00bb sau voievoad\u0103, tot ai fi g\u0103sit tu ceva s\u0103 comentezi.\u201c \u201eBine, atunci spune-o \u015fi ai s\u0103 vezi dac\u0103 ai dreptate sau nu.\u201c \u201eOK, te-am omor\u00e2t \u015fi apoi \u0163i-am spintecat trupul \u00een patru, ca pe al unei regine, cu inima \u00eengropat\u0103 \u00eentr-un loc \u015fi\u2026\u201c \u201eCe c\u0103cat vorbe\u015fti acolo! Auzi, ca pe al unei regine!\u201c \u201eVoievoade?\u201c \u201eHai, sictir!\u201c \u201eVezi, ce \u0163i-am spus!\u201c \u201eDa, ce mi-ai spus? Luz\u0103r l\u0103barul dracului!\u201c \u201eIngrid, \u00eenceteaz\u0103!\u201c \u201eC\u0103 dac\u0103 nu, ce? M\u0103 mai omori o dat\u0103?\u201c \u201eNumai pentru c\u0103 te-am omor\u00e2t nu-nseamn\u0103 c\u0103 nu te-am iubit, Ingrid! De altfel, te iubesc \u00een continuare! Poate chiar mai mult, acum c\u0103 e\u015fti moart\u0103!\u201c \u201eVorbe\u015fte remu\u015fcarea din tine!\u201c \u201eNu numai!\u201c \u201eDac\u0103 m\u0103 iube\u015fti, nu te duce la nem\u0163oaic\u0103, na! Stai naibii \u00een cas\u0103 \u015fi scrie, c\u0103 doar de-aia ai venit aici!\u201c \u201eMi s-a stricat laptopul, de-aia m\u0103 duc! Poate are ea unul s\u0103-mi \u00eemprumute!\u201c \u201eAuzi, \u015ftii ce? Nu m\u0103 p\u0103c\u0103le\u015fti tu pe mine a\u015fa u\u015for. Nu m-ai p\u0103c\u0103lit c\u00e2nd eram vie, nu m\u0103 p\u0103c\u0103le\u015fti nici moart\u0103!\u201c \u201eBine, atunci m\u0103 duc c\u0103 vreau s-o cunosc, OK?! Asta e, viii au prioritate!\u201c \u201e\u0102sta este adulter, s\u0103 \u015ftii! Nici nu m-am r\u0103cit bine \u00een groap\u0103, sau, m\u0103 rog, \u00een gropi, \u015fi tu deja te duci la femei! \u015ei m\u0103car dac\u0103 ai avea vreo \u015fans\u0103! Tipa asta, la ce fumuri are, nici n-o s\u0103-\u0163i deschid\u0103 u\u015fa!\u201c Asta nu era exclus, luasem \u015fi eu \u00een calcul posibilitatea. De fapt, poate chiar era mai mult dec\u00e2t o posibilitate. Dar nu puteam \u015fti p\u00e2n\u0103 nu \u00eencercam. A\u015fa c\u0103 m-am \u00eenfiin\u0163at la u\u015fa ei \u015fi, cu Ingrid \u00eenc\u0103 vorbindu-mi \u00een minte, am b\u0103tut de trei ori.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Deopotriv\u0103 realiste \u0219i fantastice, hilare \u0219i triste, cathartice \u0219i cople\u0219itoare, prozele lui Florin Irimia ofer\u0103 piesele unui puzzle care, odat\u0103 asamblat, \u00ee\u0219i schimb\u0103 func\u021bia pentru a crea noi imagini \u0219i, implicit, sensuri. Scriitor \u0219i profesor cu voca\u021bia rat\u0103rii, Sebastian, personajul-cheie al celor nou\u0103 povestiri, este victima farselor destinului \u0219i a propriei imagina\u021bii \u00eentr-o lume \u00een care c\u0103utarea permanent\u0103 a identit\u0103\u021bii vine la pachet cu \u00eensingurare, depresie, insecuritate emo\u021bional\u0103 \u0219i duce la o \u201ereinventare\u201d periculoas\u0103, c\u0103ci, uneori, evadarea din prezent nu te face dec\u00e2t prizonier al trecutului. Fragment \u00cen Germania nu te duci ca-n America, s\u0103 te prezin\u0163i vecinilor. \u00cen Germania,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":8392,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[210,357,128,47],"coauthors":[1381],"class_list":["post-8391","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fictiune","tag-ego-proza","tag-florin-irimia","tag-polirom","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/Nu-spune-asta-Ego-Proza-a.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8391","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8391"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8391\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8394,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8391\/revisions\/8394"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8392"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8391"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=8391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}