{"id":8324,"date":"2023-08-31T20:22:59","date_gmt":"2023-08-31T17:22:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/?p=8324"},"modified":"2023-09-07T20:57:47","modified_gmt":"2023-09-07T17:57:47","slug":"anca-ioana-cada","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/?p=8324","title":{"rendered":"Anca-Ioana C\u00e2d\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\" style=\"font-size:15px\"><strong>cel mai mult ai t\u0103cut c\u00e2nd am fost bolnav\u0103\n<\/strong>\npe noptiera de spital blisterele cu pilule,\napa, re\u021beta zg\u00e2riat\u0103 de un mont blanc personalizat\n\u0219i carne\u021belul \u00een care nu am \u00eendr\u0103znit s\u0103 notez nimic.\n\nsub p\u0103tura \u021bepoas\u0103 delicate\u021bea cu care dezlipesc bandajul \n\u0219i ating cus\u0103turile precise \u2013 un gest voyeuristic fa\u021b\u0103\nde secretele tegumentului bolnav.\n<em>r\u0103spunsul n-a fost \u00een laparoscopie.\n<\/em>\nani la r\u00e2ndul m-am ferit s\u0103-mi fac cruce \u2013\ncineva care \u00eenjur\u0103 ca un birjar nu are voie s\u0103-\u0219i\np\u0103teze buricele degetelor cu gesturi pioase.\n\u00een capela m\u0103runt\u0103 din filantropia v\u0103rs lacrimi,\nating cu buzele unde e de atins \nca orice fariseu ajuns pe muchie,\nm\u0103 \u00eentreb c\u00e2te dintre cele care-au s\u0103rutat\n\u00eentru vindecare au pierit dup\u0103 \u0219i\nc\u00e2te au jurat str\u00e2mb,\ntoate venite s\u0103 exorcizeze ceva din propriul trup:\noameni noi, boli ale tuburilor, buc\u0103\u021bi de cancer \u0219i \norice te-ar mai putea transforma dintr-un om zdrav\u0103n \n\u00eentr-o marionet\u0103 u\u0219or de fr\u0103m\u00e2ntat \n\u00een c\u0103utarea unei vene bune de \u00een\u021bepat.\n\n<em>iuda s-a f\u0103cut bine pe vorbe,\nnu-\u0219i aminte\u0219te ce-a oferit la schimb pentru \u00eens\u0103n\u0103to\u0219ire.<\/em>\n\nla externare am plecat cu \niubirea alor mei \u0219i mult\u0103 satura\u021bie. \nnu sunt mai \u00een\u021beleapt\u0103. n-am avut parte de vreo revela\u021bie.\nsar mese \u0219i rug\u0103ciuni, \u00eenjur ca un birjar,\ndac\u0103 printre tehnicile de stress management se num\u0103r\u0103 rosul unghiilor \n\u0219i mersul pe jos, atunci da,\nmerg cu pasul femeii care \u0219tie\nc\u0103 poate s\u0103 se-mpiedice iar\n<em>\u00eenainte s\u0103 aib\u0103 ocazia s\u0103 spun\u0103 ceva esen\u021bial.\n<\/em>c\u0103 n-o s\u0103 m\u0103 mai destabilizeze o pan\u0103 de cauciuc\n\u00eentr-un moment inoportun,\nc\u0103 sunt u\u0219or de iubit c\u00e2nd sunt s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 \u2013\n<em>durerile trebuie s\u0103 mi le duc singur\u0103 ca pe ni\u0219te saco\u0219e \u00eendesate p\u00e2n\u0103 la refuz.\n<\/em>convingerea c\u0103 dup\u0103 ce ai fr\u00e2nt-o, \ninima unui om \ncare-a fost pe muchie\nse sudeaz\u0103 altfel.\n\n\n\u2003\n<strong>strada panselelor\n<\/strong>\na a\u0219teptat s\u0103 ias\u0103 din bloc \u0219i\na urm\u0103rit cum se \u00eendep\u0103rteaz\u0103 \u2013\no siluet\u0103 cu glezne sub\u021biri care se descotorosise de el\nca de o flanel\u0103 g\u0103unoas\u0103.\na ajuns-o din urm\u0103 pe strada panselelor, \ni-a pus m\u00e2na la gur\u0103 \n\u0219i i-a t\u0103iat g\u00e2tul. \nera cald \u0219i i se n\u0103cl\u0103iser\u0103 degetele pe cu\u021bitul cu zim\u021bi. \nera cald \u0219i pe strada panselelor \u0219iroia o dung\u0103 de s\u00e2nge proasp\u0103t. \n\u0219i-a scris biletul de adio pe o rol\u0103 de h\u00e2rtie igienic\u0103\npe care a \u00een\u0219irat-o peste femeie. \ntot acolo cerea s\u0103 fie \u00eenmorm\u00e2nta\u021bi am\u00e2ndoi\nsub aceea\u0219i cruce, pe M\u0103gura \u2013\n\n\u00een moarte femeia \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it nu se mai putea \u00eempotrivi.\n\ndup\u0103 dou\u0103 luni l-a scos la suprafa\u021b\u0103 apa Bistri\u021bei \u2013\nun secret obscen cu care nici\nm\u0103duva p\u0103m\u00e2ntului n-a vrut s\u0103 se \u00eempov\u0103reze.\n\n\n\u2003\n<strong>terasa buturuga \n<\/strong>\nm-am sim\u021bit ca o idioat\u0103 c\u00e2nd mi-am aprins \u021bigara l\u00e2ng\u0103 el.\nce-i spui cuiva care furi\u0219eaz\u0103, \u00eentr-o conversa\u021bie banal\u0103,\nc\u0103 e \u00een remisie din leucemie?\nundeva \u00eentre a transmite impulsurile nervoase necesare\n\u0219i a articula p\u0103rerea de r\u0103u,\ncreierul meu a apelat la cel mai deplasat automatism.\nmi-am imaginat cum \u00eei povestesc sor\u0103-mii,\ncum ar face ochii c\u00e2t cepele \u0219i mi-ar zice\n<em>da\u2019 ce dracu\u2019 ai avut? e\u0219ti s\u0103lbatec\u0103.\n<\/em>\nce-i spui cuiva cu numa\u2019 dou\u0103\u0219cinci de ani pe umeri\n\u0219i pu\u021bin cancer \u00een s\u00e2nge?\n<em>[\u00eemi \u00eenchipui c\u0103 n-o fi simplu s\u0103 fii printre pu\u021binii tineri\nde pe sec\u021bia de hemato de la col\u021bea,\nprintre mo\u0219ii \u0219i babele care \u0219i-au tr\u0103it traiul, \u0219i-au m\u00e2ncat m\u0103laiul.\ns\u0103 fii \u00eendopat cu citostatice,\ns\u0103 petice\u0219ti unde stric\u0103 citostaticele\ncu klacid \u0219i antivirale,\ns\u0103-\u021bi cad\u0103 p\u0103rul \u0219i s\u0103-\u021bi dea greu veteranii de salon, \ns\u0103 nu \u0219tii r\u0103spunsul:\nauzi, mamaie, da\u2019 nu e\u0219ti cam t\u00e2n\u0103r pentru cancer?\ns\u0103-\u021bi pl\u00e2ng\u0103 de mil\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 mearg\u0103 mai departe\ncu m\u00e2inile \u00eempreunate pe coccis]<\/em>\n\ndac\u0103 nu l-au omor\u00e2t toate astea,\nn-o s\u0103-l omoare un fumat pasiv \u2013\n\u00eentre a-mi veni s\u0103 m\u0103 arunc \u00een balt\u0103\nsau s\u0103-mi sting \u021bigara de ochi,\nnu mi-am amintit nici m\u0103car unul din arsenalul de <em>cuvinte potrivite<\/em>.\n\n\u021b\u00e2n\u021barii din ci\u0219migiu, \nmusca tsetse din tropicul racului,\ndoctoriile care-ar trebui s\u0103 te fac\u0103 bine,\nprea mult\u0103 sau prea pu\u021bin\u0103 empatie \u2013\nla un moment dat orice lucru m\u0103runt \u00ee\u021bi poate veni de hac.\n\n\u2003\n<strong>fuck 27 club\n<\/strong>\nt\u00e2r\u00e2i stativul ruginit ca pe crucea \nde care mamaia zicea c\u0103 to\u021bi o s\u0103 avem parte.\nm\u0103 \u021bin de pere\u021bi \u0219i \u00eemi spun c\u0103 data asta\nam gafat r\u0103u de tot.\nbaia \u2013 purgatoriu cu urin\u0103 pe terrazzo,\npl\u00e2ngeri de mil\u0103 febrile \u0219i dejec\u021bii intestinale \nde la nosocomiale pe care raport\u0103rile \nse jur\u0103 c\u0103 le-ai adus de acas\u0103.\n\nc\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u00eentorc \u00een salon, cerberul de serviciu\nm\u0103 ia \u00een primire f\u0103r\u0103 chef.\nbust generos, cercei g\u00e2ndac,\nunghii sidef \u00een parte ciobite, \u00een parte jegoase \u2013\nsunt o prad\u0103 palid\u0103 \u0219i costeliv\u0103.\n\ncrucea pe care o poart\u0103 la g\u00e2t\ni se prinde \u00een sudoarea decolteului, \ndup\u0103 care \u00eemi aterizeaz\u0103 pe fa\u021b\u0103.\nm\u0103 simt prea pu\u021bin binecuv\u00e2ntat\u0103.\n\ndeasupra capului \u2013\nsolu\u021bii perfuzabile t\u0103m\u0103duitoare ca ni\u0219te ciorchini translucizi.\nsub piele, pe calea s\u00e2ngelui \u2013 cine \u0219tie.\n\nm\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 pielea, mi se \u00eentoarce stomacul,\nvreau s\u0103 protestez, r\u0103m\u00e2n \u00een schimb mut\u0103 \u0219i proast\u0103.\nmi-e frig, mi-e cald, mi-e groaz\u0103 \n\u0219i mi-e frig din nou. \npe obraz se preling \u00een lini\u0219te lacrimi \nca \u00een fa\u021ba faptului \u00eemplinit.\n\neu am venit s\u0103 m\u0103 fac bine. \n\n\u2003\n<strong>m\u0103 ridic, m\u0103 scutur \u0219i o iau de la cap\u0103t\n<\/strong>\nsunt jumate de om cu genunchii ferfeni\u021b\u0103.\ndin r\u0103ni \u00eemi ies plasm\u0103 \u0219i rivanol.\nniciun copac nu e suficient de \u00eenalt.\nunele crengi se rup cu tot cu mine, \naterizez pe spate, r\u0103m\u00e2n f\u0103r\u0103 aer, \nn-am putere s\u0103 strig \u0219i m\u0103 \u00eentreb \ndac\u0103 nu cumva am murit. dar nu mor. \n\nde cele mai multe ori aterizez l\u00e2ng\u0103 furci ori\ncoase. \u0219i totu\u0219i \u2013 niciodat\u0103 \u00een ele \u2013 \nasta \u00eemi va dicta \u00eentreaga via\u021b\u0103.\n\ndau de gustul vi\u0219inelor din vi\u0219inat\u0103\npe care mamaia mi le d\u0103 ca leac pentru durerea de burt\u0103.\ncur\u00e2nd \u00eencep s\u0103 am tot mai des dureri de acest fel,\niar mamaie tot mai des drumuri \u00een beci.\n\u00eenfulec corcodu\u0219e, m\u0103cri\u0219 \u0219i agurid\u0103,\niar gura mi se face pung\u0103.\n\no dat\u0103 pe s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00eemi fac curaj \u0219i caut\n\u00eentre pl\u0103pumile de zestre.\ng\u0103sesc b\u0103ni\u0219ori str\u00e2n\u0219i \u00een batist\u0103\n\u0219i aurul adus de tataia din algeria \u2013\ncomoara nici nu se \u00eenmul\u021be\u0219te, nici nu se amaneteaz\u0103,\ndar pe mine m\u0103 fascineaz\u0103 ca \u00eent\u00e2ia dat\u0103.\n\nc\u00e2nd m\u0103 ceart\u0103, m\u0103 uit \u00een jos \u0219i\n\u00eemi rod unghiile p\u00e2n\u0103 la s\u00e2nge.\ntanti aurica \u00eemi spune c\u0103 am unghii de fl\u0103c\u0103u, nu de domni\u0219oar\u0103 \u2013\ncu g\u00e2ndul \u0103sta \u0219i cu pumnii str\u00e2n\u0219i s\u0103 nu mi se vad\u0103 unghiile\nvoi tr\u0103i toat\u0103 via\u021ba.\n\no gur\u0103 frumoas\u0103 \u0219i unghii sf\u0103r\u00e2mate de din\u021bi de lapte precoce-anxio\u0219i\n\nmamaia m\u0103 ia la priveghiuri.\nridic capul \u0219i caut cu privirea nefericitul.\ndin sicriu nu v\u0103d mijind dec\u00e2t un munte de degete \n\u00eempreunate \u0219i str\u0103vezii \n\u0219i icoana cu urme de pupici.\nmiroase a crini, fum de lum\u00e2nare la dou\u0103 mii de lei bucata\n\u0219i \u00eenc\u0103 ceva: un miros greu, necunoscut copiilor.\n\no iau pe mamaia de m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i \u00eenfulec din coliv\u0103 \ncu vinov\u0103\u021bie, ca dintr-o delicates\u0103 pentru care\ncineva a trebuit moar\u0103. \n\n\u2003\n<strong>la 6 luni ar fi trebuit s\u0103 moar\u0103 prima dat\u0103\n<\/strong>\ndup\u0103 dou\u0103 luni de stat \u00een spital, \nniculina \u0219i-a adus fata acas\u0103.\nla 6 luni \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 con\u0219tiin\u021b\u0103 de sine,\nfata avea mai mult zv\u00e2c \u00een convalescen\u021b\u0103 \ndec\u00e2t oameni mari care \u0219tiu ce au de pierdut dac\u0103 se las\u0103 prad\u0103 mor\u021bii.\n\nc\u00e2nd mamaie a \u00eent\u00e2mpinat-o pe femeie la poart\u0103,\n\u00een loc s\u0103 se bucure c\u0103-i tr\u0103ie\u0219te fata, i-a zis am\u0103r\u00e2t\u0103:\n<em>am preg\u0103tit salonul, am crezut c-o aduci moart\u0103.\n<\/em>oamenii de la \u021bar\u0103 au un fel brutal de-a se \u00eentoarce\nla c\u0103pi\u021bele de f\u00e2n imediat ce-\u0219i \u00eengroap\u0103 copiii.\n\nla 26 de ani \u0219i-un pic fata \u0219i-a \u00eencercat iar norocul.\nmamaie are \u0219i ea cu 26 mai mul\u021bi ani, \niar salonul ei a v\u0103zut destui mor\u021bi \u0219i tot at\u00e2tea alarme false.\n\nfetei \u00eei curge zeam\u0103 neagr\u0103 prin vene, iar de data asta \u0219tie ce are de pierdut.\nniculina o hr\u0103ne\u0219te cu linguri\u021ba ca atunci c\u00e2nd era copil.\npe-atunci era u\u0219or, \u00eentr-un trup de copil \u00eencape voin\u021b\u0103 cu nemiluita. \nniculina \u00eei sf\u0103r\u00e2m\u0103 pastilele cu dosul palmei.\nniculina nu-i d\u0103 voie s\u0103 se dea b\u0103tut\u0103.\nniculina \u00eei stoarce zeama neagr\u0103 din vene \nca \u0219i c\u00e2nd ar stoarce baticul murdar a lu\u2019 mamaie.\n\n<em>c\u00e2nd \u00eenchide ochii,\no zeam\u0103 neagr\u0103 \u00eei acoper\u0103 pupilele dinspre interior.\n\n\u00een fa\u021ba ochilor \u2013 mamaie deretic\u0103 ner\u0103bd\u0103toare salonul.\n<\/em>\n\n\u2003\n<strong>undeva l\u00e2ng\u0103 filaret, unde e mereu lini\u0219te\n<\/strong>\n<em>n-am mai sim\u021bit demult congruen\u021b\u0103 \u00een idei,\nmajoritatea interac\u021biunilor se soldeaz\u0103 cu epuizare \u0219i rictus.<\/em>\n\n\u00eentr-o zi de var\u0103 ca asta vreau s\u0103 urlu te iubesc\n\u0219i de la etajul 1 s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 un \nbumerang de ba eu te iubesc \n\u0219i bumerangul s\u0103 aib\u0103 m\u00e2ini nemaipomenit de mari \u0219i\nomopla\u021bi asemenea.\ns\u0103 rup\u0103 \u00eentre degete o ro\u0219ie r\u0103scoapt\u0103\n\u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 cuprind\u0103 \u00een fa\u021ba alor lui.\n\n<em>am jurat c\u0103 nu-\u021bi mai scriu.\n<\/em>\nmesajele la be\u021bie sunt pentru adolescen\u021bi,\nnu pentru adul\u021bi resemna\u021bi.\nfac o rocad\u0103 mental\u0103 \u0219i aterizez\n\u00een locul \u00een care am promis c\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai \u00eentorc.\n\n<em>lady godiva popose\u0219te \u00een cr\u00e2\u0219m\u0103 de c\u00e2teva ori pe an,\n\u00ee\u0219i scrijele\u0219te istoria pe mesele de lemn \n\u0219i uneori d\u0103 restul la tine \u00een cas\u0103.\npe lady godiva o pofte\u0219ti, o iube\u0219ti din cap p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een picioare,\n\no alungi, n-o mai \u00eentrebi de niciunele,\nte scuzi \u0219i o lua\u021bi de la cap\u0103t cu riduri \u0219i angoase proaspete.<\/em>\n\nsunt n\u0103scut\u0103 \u00een luna lui cuptor, \nm\u0103 incomodeaz\u0103 un dor tic\u0103los, m\u0103tasea broa\u0219tei din sutien \u0219i \nsecretul apocaliptic de care nu te eliberezi niciodat\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la cap\u0103t.\n\n<em>somn u\u0219or, iubita mea frumoas\u0103 \u0219i bl\u00e2nd\u0103,\npe muchia patului tu vei suferi mai tare.<\/em>\n\nun tat\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i m\u00e2n\u0103 pruncul pe str\u0103du\u021ba de l\u00e2ng\u0103 filaret \u2013 \n<em>s\u0103 c\u0103ut\u0103m cire\u0219ele, domnul meu\u2026\n<\/em>\nnu e pruncul meu.\nnu e tat\u0103l pruncului meu.\n<em>sylvie,\nsylvie,\nsylvie,\nmi-ai luat din m\u00e2n\u0103 ceva ce oricum n-am avut niciodat\u0103.\n<\/em><\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>poeme<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":268,"featured_media":8398,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1824,30],"tags":[1815,1813,1812,723],"coauthors":[1814],"class_list":["post-8324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mornin-poets","category-poezie","tag-anca-ioana-cada","tag-mornin-poets","tag-nr-5-2023","tag-poeme"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Anca-Ioana-Cada-1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/268"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8324"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8399,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8324\/revisions\/8399"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8398"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8324"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=8324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}