<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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(Intrarea<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eu nu am avut un corp peste care s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng. \u00cen copil\u0103ria mea, la sat, b\u0103teau clopotele c\u00e2nd murea cineva. C\u00e2nd a murit feti\u021ba mea, nu a b\u0103tut niciun clopot. Pentru copiii care nu se nasc vii nu se face zgomot. Nu se anun\u021b\u0103. Moartea lor \u2013 ca \u0219i doliul l\u0103sat \u00een urm\u0103 \u2013 se evapor\u0103 \u00eentr-o mare de t\u0103ceri ca o b\u0103rcu\u021b\u0103 de s\u0103pun trimis\u0103 pe r\u00e2u. Iar compasiunea celor din jur pentru mama r\u0103mas\u0103 \u00een urm\u0103 poart\u0103 urmele lui \u201ee\u0219ti t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103, ai s\u0103 faci altul\u201d cu \u00eendemnarea s\u0103 nu \u201esuferi prea mult\u201d, eventual \u201es\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi treac\u0103\u201d repede. Culmea, nimeni nu ar spune a\u0219a ceva celor care \u00ee\u0219i pierd o mam\u0103. Dar o spun celor care pierd puiul \u00een p\u00e2ntece.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (\u201eS\u0103<\/em> <\/em>\u00ee\u021bi<\/em> <\/em>treac\u0103\u201d.<\/em> <\/em>De<\/em> <\/em>parc\u0103<\/em> <\/em>doliul<\/em> <\/em>este<\/em> <\/em>un<\/em> <\/em>mic<\/em> <\/em>pod<\/em> <\/em>din<\/em> <\/em>lemn <\/em>\u0219i<\/em> <\/em>sfoar\u0103<\/em> <\/em>peste<\/em> <\/em>un<\/em> <\/em>p\u00e2r\u00e2u<\/em> <\/em>pe<\/em> <\/em>care<\/em> <\/em>\u00eel<\/em> <\/em>treci<\/em> <\/em>\u00een<\/em> <\/em>vacan\u021b\u0103<\/em>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n *<\/p>\n\n\n\n A\u0219a c\u0103 am devenit eu \u00eens\u0103mi co\u0219ciugul fiicei mele asupra c\u0103ruia s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng. P\u00e2ntecele meu, leag\u0103nul \u0219i morm\u00e2ntul. Am pl\u00e2ns pentru ea asupra mea, rulat\u0103 \u00een mine \u00eens\u0103mi ca un melc. S\u0103-mi fie fruntea c\u00e2t mai aproape de burta \u00een care existase pentru c\u00e2teva luni pe p\u0103m\u00e2ntul acesta; o mic\u0103 Iona \u00een pe\u0219tele mare c\u00e2t un univers care am fost eu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cu ea eram plin\u0103. F\u0103r\u0103 ea, o cochilie spiralat\u0103 precum cele expuse \u00een muzee. Devenisem o creatur\u0103 pe care nu o cuno\u0219team. O creatur\u0103 suspendat\u0103. F\u0103r\u0103 identitate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Un animal jupuit l\u0103sat liber s\u0103 circule prin lume. (Lumea<\/em> <\/em>doliului<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Un t\u0103r\u00e2m la limita fantasticului, \u00een care tot ce cuno\u0219teai devine nou, ca \u0219i cum Alice a alunecat \u00eentr-o lume \u00een care totul poate fi familiar \u0219i \u00eengrozitor de necunoscut \u00een acela\u0219i timp. E\u0219ti tu la aceea\u0219i mas\u0103, cu aceea\u0219i can\u0103 de cafea, aceea\u0219i fereastr\u0103. Chiar dac\u0103 masa \u0219i cafeaua \u0219i fereastra sunt la fel, ochii t\u0103i au devenit ca ochii crevetelui-c\u0103lug\u0103ri\u021b\u0103, cu dou\u0103sprezece fotoreceptori de culoare cu care vezi toat\u0103 durerea din lume \u0219i \u00een mas\u0103, \u0219i \u00een cana de cafea, \u0219i \u00een fereastr\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218i oriunde te ui\u021bi doare. \u0218i orice g\u00e2nde\u0219ti doare. Doliul, acest t\u0103r\u00e2m ca din pove\u0219ti, un loc din care eroina ar trebui s\u0103 ias\u0103 \u00een\u021belep\u021bit\u0103, o nou\u0103 fiin\u021b\u0103 la cap\u0103tul lui. P\u0103durea \u00een care am fost aruncat\u0103 \u0219i \u00een care m-am trezit dup\u0103 ce doctorul mi-a spus c\u0103 nu are \u0219anse s\u0103 se nasc\u0103 vie. O p\u0103dure f\u0103r\u0103 c\u0103r\u0103ri, pentru c\u0103 nimeni \u00eenaintea mea nu p\u0103rea s\u0103 fi c\u0103lcat prin ea. Nici \u021bipenie de om. C\u00e2nd intri, totul se \u00eenchide \u00een urma ta. Totul se \u00eenchide \u00een fa\u021ba ta. Cine ai fost e uitat. Cine e\u0219ti? Aceasta-i \u00eentrebarea. Cine vei fi? Cui \u00eei mai pas\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218i trebuie doar s\u0103 \u00eempingi cu m\u00e2inile crengi, ieder\u0103 ag\u0103\u021bat\u0103 de copaci, tufe cu spini, trebuie s\u0103 fii atent\u0103 la sunete, la culori, la texturi. Totul este nou. \u0218i nu e\u0219ti speriat c\u0103 e\u0219ti pierdut. Nu m-am sim\u021bit niciodat\u0103 pierdut\u0103 \u00een aceast\u0103 p\u0103dure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pentru c\u0103 nu te po\u021bi pierde \u00een ceva ce este nou. Doliul \u00eencepe \u00eentotdeauna cu un moment de \u0219oc. Intrarea cu capul \u00een apa \u00eenghe\u021bat\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218ocul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cen care corpul \u00eenghea\u021b\u0103 chiar dac\u0103 se mi\u0219c\u0103, iar pl\u0103m\u00e2nii se blocheaz\u0103 cu aer \u0219i ui\u021bi periodic s\u0103 expiri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cen care e\u0219ti pe loc chiar dac\u0103 te plimbi, dansezi, vorbe\u0219ti, faci de m\u00e2ncare, decorezi \u0219i transformi camera care ar fi trebuit s\u0103 fie a ei \u00een birou de lucru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cen care se stinge lumina \u0219i nu mai vezi viitorul. \u0218i trebuie s\u0103 te asiguri c\u0103 po\u021bi supravie\u021bui. \u0218i pentru binele t\u0103u, trebuie s\u0103 te mi\u0219ti, s\u0103 fii \u00een mi\u0219care. S\u0103 dai mereu, mereu crengi la o parte. Oric\u00e2te s-ar ivi. Mereu s\u0103 \u00eempingi cu m\u00e2inile, s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi faci loc. Nu te po\u021bi opri. Nu \u00ee\u021bi permi\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eenghe\u021bi de tot. Ri\u0219ti s\u0103 devii de piatr\u0103, iar depresia s\u0103 fie singurul t\u0103u mod de a tr\u0103i. \u0218tiam asta. Citisem. \u0218tiam despre doliu. M\u0103 \u021bineam \u00een via\u021b\u0103 mi\u0219c\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 \u00een lumea mea interioar\u0103, \u00een p\u0103durea aceasta deas\u0103 care \u00eemi devenise trup \u0219i cas\u0103, o cas\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 de odihn\u0103, str\u0103in\u0103, nou\u0103. \u00cen care totul durea. \u0218i totul durea. Aerul din jur r\u0103nea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Totul era pe dos, pielea se \u00eentorsese, capilarele se ag\u0103\u021bau ca firele de vi\u021b\u0103-de-vie de crengile din jur. De oameni. De vorbele lor. Totul durea. Iar eu nu \u0219tiam cine mai sunt \u0219i cum ar\u0103t. Identitatea mea era a unei creaturi care s-a contorsionat \u0219i care \u00ee\u0219i purta oasele deasupra ca o coroan\u0103. Uneori a\u0219teptam metroul \u0219i m\u0103 miram c\u0103 oamenii nu se opresc \u0219oca\u021bi \u00een sta\u021bie s\u0103 m\u0103 priveasc\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pentru c\u0103 luni de zile, ani, eu nu am tr\u0103it \u00een lumea oamenilor, nu tr\u0103iam printre oameni \u0219i corpuri, eu \u00eens\u0103mi nu mai eram un corp. M\u0103 mutasem \u00een mine, iar \u00een mine nu mai era nimic din ce \u0219tiam c\u0103 sunt. Un animal confuz, r\u0103nit, suspendat \u00eentre femeia care am fost \u00eenainte \u0219i mama care nu am putut deveni pe deplin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cen ziua \u00een care corpul \u0219i-a dat seama c\u0103 nu mai este nimic \u00een p\u00e2ntece de hr\u0103nit \u0219i s-a re\u00eentors la forma ini\u021bial\u0103, eu am privit \u00een oglind\u0103 cum m-am str\u00e2ns \u00een mine p\u00e2n\u0103 am devenit un punct.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Corpul era singurul meu aliat, cel care \u0219tia c\u0103 ea a existat cu adev\u0103rat. Iar oroarea c\u0103 \u0219i el o uit\u0103 m\u0103 cople\u0219ea. Uneori clipeam \u0219i \u00eencercam s\u0103-mi amintesc dac\u0103 eu chiar am fost vreodat\u0103 \u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103. De parc\u0103 linia dintre realitate \u0219i fic\u021biune se topise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Poate aceasta este \u0219i puterea durerii, s\u0103 topeasc\u0103 barierele, s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi arate noi teritorii, s\u0103 te \u00eenve\u021be noi limbi. Editura Vellant v\u0103 prezint\u0103 \u00een avanpremier\u0103 un fragment din antologia de doliu Panglica neagr\u0103, coordonat\u0103 de Emanuela Ign\u0103\u021boiu-Sora.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6515,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[164],"tags":[1478,894,170,1475,1477,1476],"coauthors":[1278],"class_list":["post-6512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-avanpremiere","tag-andreea-molocea","tag-antologie","tag-avanpremiera","tag-doliu","tag-emanuela-ignatoiu-sora-2","tag-panglica-neagra"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/coperta-Panglica-neagra-jpg.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6512","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6512"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6512\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6524,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6512\/revisions\/6524"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6515"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6512"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=6512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Eu nu am avut ce \u021bine \u00een cas\u0103 trei zile.
Nu am avut ce \u00eenmorm\u00e2nta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\u0219a mi-am f\u0103cut intrarea \u00een lumea doliului.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Doare \u00een gol \u0219i gratuit, doare f\u0103r\u0103 pic de creativitate \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 finalitate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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<\/p>\n\n\n\nAu contribuit: Cristina Andrei, Dan-Liviu Boeriu, Cristina Bogdan, Marius Constantinescu, Ionelia Cristea, Si\u00admina Diaconu, Gruia Dragomir, Mihai Du\u021bescu, Diana Gea\u00adc\u0103r, Ioana Geac\u0103r, Daniela Hendea, Doina Ioanid, Cristina Ispas, Despina Jderu, Florin L\u0103z\u0103rescu, \u0218tefania Mihalache, Andreea Molocea, Rucsandra Pop, Odilia Ro\u0219ianu, Olga \u0218te\u00adfan, Mih\u00f3k Tam\u00e1s, Andrei Zb\u00eernea<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"