<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2015 A\u021bi venit mult prea t\u00e2rziu, cursul a \u00eenceput acum o lun\u0103, nu v\u0103 mai putem primi! m\u0103 anun\u021b\u0103, cu z\u00e2mbet vag \u00eendurerat, secretara durdulie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sur\u00e2sul moare, duduia coboar\u0103 n\u0103sucul \u00een h\u00e2r\u021boagele ei, d\u00e2ndu-mi de \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 e ocupat\u0103 \u0219i ar fi bine s\u0103 m\u0103 car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu m\u0103 mi\u0219c:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2015 Nici dac\u0103-l achit integral, acum?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I-am trezit interesul, se opre\u0219te din treab\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2015 Dou\u0103 secunde, s\u0103 vorbesc cu directoarea de programe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ridic\u0103 receptorul, apas\u0103 dou\u0103 taste, zice cine e, \u00eentreab\u0103, ascult\u0103, apoi z\u00e2mbetul reapare, f\u0103r\u0103 nuan\u021ba de dezolare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2015 Ce noroc ave\u021bi! \u0218efa cunoa\u0219te pe cineva la Camera de Comer\u021b \u0219i Industrie, se rezolv\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2rzierea! You\u2019re in!<\/em> A\u021bi pierdut partea teoretic\u0103, dar \u2013 \u00eemi c\u00e2nt\u0103re\u0219te nodul de la cravat\u0103 \u0219i-mi caut\u0103 scame pe sacou \u2013 recupera\u021bi dumneavoastr\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 Mul\u021bumesc \u2013 scot o m\u00e2n\u0103 de sute din portofel \u2013 c\u00e2t m\u0103 cost\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 Zece milioane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pl\u0103tesc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Vede c\u0103 mi-au mai r\u0103mas bani \u0219i \u0219opte\u0219te de parc\u0103 mi-ar spune cine \u0219tie ce secret:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 Pentru un milion \u00een plus, pute\u021bi dob\u00e2ndi \u0219i-un certificat de m\u0103celar. It\u2019s cheaper by the bundle! <\/em>\u00eemi face cu ochiul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ezit c\u00e2teva secunde, dar \u201eunde a mers mia, mearg\u0103 \u0219i suta\u201d, zice proverbul, a\u0219a c\u0103 mai dau un polimer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 S\u0103-\u021bi pui plas\u0103 peste barba aia \u0219i\u2026 ia zi, ce meserie ai la baz\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mi se suie s\u00e2ngele la cap, m\u0103 irit\u0103 teribil s\u0103 fiu tutuit din prima \u0219i, c\u00e2nd mi se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103, repede \u00eel pun la punct pe \u00eendr\u0103zne\u021b. Acum m\u0103 ab\u021bin \u0219i r\u0103spund calm:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 Sunt profesor, domnule maistru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201eOric\u00e2t am calculat \u0219i r\u0103scalculat, nu-mi ie\u0219eau punctele; lips\u0103, vreo \u0219apte. Programul de imigrare numit \u00abmuncitori califica\u021bi\u00bb m\u0103 descalifica.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Cilindrul \u00eenalt de pe capul master chef<\/em>-ului s-a \u00eenclinat c\u00e2teva grade spre mine, nu mai e drept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 Profesor?! Unde?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 La liceu, la \u201eArthur Verona\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Toca alb\u0103 e \u0219i mai oblic\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 \u0218i la ce Dumnezeu v\u0103 trebuie curs de buc\u0103tari, dom\u2019 profesor?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu-l mint:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 Am nevoie de diploma asta la dosarul de emigrare \u00een Canada.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oric\u00e2t am calculat \u0219i r\u0103scalculat, nu-mi ie\u0219eau punctele; lips\u0103, vreo \u0219apte. Programul de imigrare numit \u201emuncitori califica\u021bi\u201d m\u0103 descalifica. Te \u00eendep\u0103rtezi de trei\u0219cinci de ani, te depreciezi, e\u0219ti \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103tor sau profesor, marchezi bini\u0219or doar la studii, c\u00e2nd a fost vorba de cuno\u0219tin\u021be de limb\u0103 francez\u0103 \u0219i englez\u0103 am punctat semnificativ, insuficient \u00eens\u0103. Dup\u0103 consultarea listei cu cele dou\u0103zeci de meserii aflate la c\u0103utare \u00een Quebec, m-am hot\u0103r\u00e2t rapid, chiar din capul ei: buc\u0103tar \u2013 \u0219ase puncte. \u0218i-uite-a\u0219a am ajuns, timp de cinci luni, s\u0103-mi petrec serile, printre crati\u021be, tig\u0103i, castroane, la \u0218coala de Excelen\u021b\u0103 \u00een Industria Ospitalit\u0103\u021bii Omorfi Ellada<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pentru examenul de diplom\u0103 am avut de \u201eexecutat \u0219i prezentat produsul\u201d: Terin\u0103 de foie gras<\/em> \u00een mantie de praz blan\u0219at. Un pateu cu gust de coniac \u0219i ceap\u0103. La urm\u0103 de tot, ca s\u0103 primesc \u0219i un \u201eCertificat de Competen\u021be Profesionale pentru ocupa\u021bia m\u0103celar\u201d, m-au pus s\u0103 feliez un cotlet \u0219i s\u0103 bifez pe un test, sub \u00eendrumare discret\u0103, metode de suprimare a vie\u021bii bovinelor, porcinelor \u0219i galinaceelor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Apoi a \u00eenceput v\u00e2n\u0103toarea de adeverin\u021be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ath\u00e9n\u00e9e Palace, Bucure\u0219ti. Spa\u021biile modulare de la etajul \u00eent\u00e2i. Interviul e pe terminate. Ofi\u021berul de imigrare canadian m\u0103 place, chiar dac\u0103 a avut dificult\u0103\u021bi s\u0103 navigheze prin CV-ul meu g\u0103unos. Se scarpin\u0103 \u00een cap, adun\u0103 aici, mai pune ceva acolo, ofteaz\u0103 \u0219i \u00eemi zice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2015 \u00ce\u021bi lipsesc trei puncte! \u00cemi pare r\u0103u, nu \u00eentrune\u0219ti necesarul pentru ob\u021binerea \u201eCertificatului de \u0219edere \u00een Quebec\u201d. \u0218i-s sigur c\u0103, pentru \u00eenceput, te-ai fi descurcat de minune ca buc\u0103tar. Tare laudative recomand\u0103rile din adeverin\u021bele de la restaurantele unde ai lucrat. Cu toat\u0103 bun\u0103voin\u021ba, nu pot s\u0103-\u021bi dau dec\u00e2t \u0219ase. Ah, de-ai fi fost calificat m\u0103celar, uite lista, nou\u0103 puncte pentru meseria asta!<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u2015 A\u021bi venit mult prea t\u00e2rziu, cursul a \u00eenceput acum o lun\u0103, nu v\u0103 mai putem primi! m\u0103 anun\u021b\u0103, cu z\u00e2mbet vag \u00eendurerat, secretara durdulie. Sur\u00e2sul moare, duduia coboar\u0103 n\u0103sucul \u00een h\u00e2r\u021boagele ei, d\u00e2ndu-mi de \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 e ocupat\u0103 \u0219i ar fi bine s\u0103 m\u0103 car. Nu m\u0103 mi\u0219c: \u2015 Nici dac\u0103-l achit integral, acum? I-am trezit interesul, se opre\u0219te din treab\u0103. \u2015 Dou\u0103 secunde, s\u0103 vorbesc cu directoarea de programe. Ridic\u0103 receptorul, apas\u0103 dou\u0103 taste, zice cine e, \u00eentreab\u0103, ascult\u0103, apoi z\u00e2mbetul reapare, f\u0103r\u0103 nuan\u021ba de dezolare. \u2015 Ce noroc ave\u021bi! \u0218efa cunoa\u0219te pe cineva la Camera de Comer\u021b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":194,"featured_media":5602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[1342,1315,47],"coauthors":[1339],"class_list":["post-5609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fictiune","tag-bogdan-pertache","tag-nr-6-2022","tag-proza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/Bogdan-Pertache.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5609","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/194"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5609"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5638,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5609\/revisions\/5638"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5609"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=5609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}