{"id":5207,"date":"2022-07-29T16:58:11","date_gmt":"2022-07-29T13:58:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/?p=5207"},"modified":"2022-08-05T14:37:14","modified_gmt":"2022-08-05T11:37:14","slug":"poezii-de-carmen-tiderle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/?p=5207","title":{"rendered":"Poezii de Carmen Tiderle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\"><strong>F, S, V, N<\/strong>\nIsa trebuia s\u0103 scrie dar n-avea chef de scris.\n\u201eMai bine a\u0219 m\u00e2nca ceva\u201d, \u00een g\u00e2ndul ei \u0219i-a zis.\n\u0218i a m\u00e2ncat o liter\u0103 \u0219i-a ost ceva de vis!\nCa cel mai tare tort de ciocolat\u0103, mai precis.\n\nAne, nici el s\u0103 scrie n-avea stare.\n\u0218i el sim\u021bea un el de pot\u0103 de m\u00e2ncare.\n\u0218i-a auzit o voce care i-a spus: \u201eHai, mu\u0219c\u0103,\nS-ul \u0103sta e ca o prun\u0103 uculent\u0103 \u00eentr-o g\u0103lu\u0219c\u0103!\u201d\n\nLa alt birou, \u00een alt\u0103 ca\u0103,\nOrina, o feti\u021b\u0103 gra\u0103\nA ot ceva mai dur\u0103\n\u0218i a b\u0103gat vreo dou\u0103 litere \u00een gur\u0103.\n\nDeci, dac\u0103 rei \u0103 u mai crii,\nIci tu, ici ceilal\u021bi copii,\nAcuma \u0219tii care-i ecretul:\n\nM\u00c2CA\u021aI AIBII TOT ALABETUL!\n\n(<em>Pe dos<\/em>, Ed. Vellant, 2015)\n\n\n\n<strong>Dou\u0103 ou\u0103<\/strong>\nAzi diminea\u021b\u0103-n jur de nou\u0103,\nAm aruncat \u00eentr-o tigaie dou\u0103 ou\u0103\n\u0218i, dup\u0103-o foarte scurt\u0103 perioad\u0103,\nMinune! Tigaia a-nceput s\u0103 vad\u0103.\n\n(<em>\u00cen ora\u0219ul Bucurville<\/em>, Ed. Vellant, 2016)\n\n\n<strong>Crocodil de Nil<\/strong>\n\u201eDoamne Dumnezeule mare!\u201d\nS-a mirat un crocodil\n\u201eC\u00e2nt ca o privighetoare!\u201d\n\u0218i-a ie\u0219it urgent din Nil.\n\u201eCredeam c\u0103-s doar un animal feroce\nCare nici nu se poate exprima vocal,\nDar eu nu numai c\u0103 am o super voce,\nCi-mi fac \u0219i-aranjamentul muzical.\n\u201eCause I\u2019m your lady, and you are my maaaan...\u201d\nDoamne, chiar sunt un fenomen!\nC\u00e2nt mai frumos dec\u00e2t C\u00e9line Dion.\nCred c-a\u0219 putea s\u0103 umplu-un stadion,\nS\u0103 dau \u00een Vegas sute de concerte,\nS\u0103 \u00eemi apar\u0103 chipul pe coperte\nPe care-apoi s\u0103 scriu autografe\n\u0218i nu doar pentru zebre \u0219i pentru girafe.\n\u201eAnd Iiiiii will always love yooouuuuu...\u201d\nDe fapt, sigur nu-s crocodil, sunt div\u0103!\nC\u0103ci simt \u00een mine o dorin\u021b\u0103 obsesiv\u0103\n\u201eNever mind I\u2019ll find someone like you...\u201d\nDe a c\u00e2nta f\u0103r\u0103 oprire\nDespre iubire \u0219i despre desp\u0103r\u021bire.\u201d\n\u0218i-o lacrim\u0103 i-a curs, \u0219i a oftat\n\u0218i, dintr-odat\u0103, a sim\u021bit ceva ciudat.\nI s-a pus \u00een g\u00e2t un... nod.\nA tu\u0219it \u0219i a scuipat:\n\u00cenghi\u021bise un iPod!\n\n(<em>Cine a pus piper \u00een mare?<\/em>, Ed. Humanitas Junior, 2019)\n\n\n\n<strong>\u0218tefan cel Mare \u0219i Turkey<\/strong>\nLui \u0218tefan cel Mare, c\u00e2nd era mic,\nNu-i era fric\u0103 de aproape nimic.\nNici de-ntuneric, nici de balauri,\nNici de z\u00e2mbri, adic\u0103 un fel de tauri,\nNici chiar de monstrul din iatac\n(Pe care-l dobor\u00e2se c-un bob\u00e2rnac).\nEra totu\u0219i ceva care-i d\u0103dea de furc\u0103,\nChiar acolo \u00een ograd\u0103,\nN-o s\u0103 v\u0103 vin\u0103 s\u0103 crede\u021bi: o curc\u0103!\nFoarte ostil\u0103 \u0219i pus\u0103 pe sfad\u0103.\n\u0218tefan nu mai ie\u0219ea nici s\u0103 se joace\nDe team\u0103 ca Turkey s\u0103 nu-l atace\n(C\u0103ci Turkey era numele curcii,\n\u0218i, nu, n-avea leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu turcii.)\n\u0218i, fiindu-i copilului at\u00e2t de team\u0103,\nS-a dus la mama lui \u0219i i-a zis: \u201eMam\u0103!\u201d\nDar ea nici n-a vrut s\u0103 aud\u0103\n(Fiindc\u0103 era dur\u0103, nu fiindc\u0103 era crud\u0103)\n\u201eNu m\u0103 prive\u0219te!\u201d, a zis ea, \u201eTe descurci!\nOr fi ele multe, dar sunt ni\u0219te curci!\u201d\n\u0218i-atunci, \u0218tefan, de\u0219i era de-o \u0219chioap\u0103,\n\u0218i-a luat inima-n din\u021bi \u0219i-a-nc\u0103lecat pe-o iap\u0103,\n\u0218i, cu un palo\u0219, care-i un fel de spad\u0103,\nA dat n\u0103val\u0103 \u00een ograd\u0103\n\u0218i-a c\u0103s\u0103pit \u00een c\u00e2teva secunde,\nCu sabia lui \u00eencovoiat\u0103,\nO mie de curci furibunde!\nO mie de curci! O armat\u0103!\n\nA fost prima victorie a lui \u0218tefan cel Mare\nPe vremea c\u00e2nd era doar \u0218tefan,\nPe vremea c\u00e2nd \u00eenc\u0103 nu mergea \u00een picioare\nFiindc\u0103 abia de-mplinise un an.\n\n(<em>Fabrica de lipici<\/em>, Ed. Humanitas Junior, 2020)\n\n\n\n<strong>Un hamburger \u0219i-o Coca-Cola<\/strong>\nUn hamburger \u0219i-o Coca-Cola\nSt\u0103teau pe-o tav\u0103, \u00eentr-o joi:\n\u201eB\u0103i, tu l-ai auzit pe \u0103la\nCe chestii spunea despre noi?\u201d\n\u201eOK, n-oi fi eu chiar nectar,\n\u0218i nici tu vreo ambrozie,\nDar... \u00eemi cam sare din mu\u0219tar!\u201d\n\u201eEu simt c\u0103 fac explozie!\u201d\n\u0218i, chiar acolo, pe moment,\nAu \u0219i lansat atacul:\nI-au \u00eempro\u0219cat unui student,\nCu ketchup, hanoracul.\nApoi au zis: \u201eNimeni nu mu\u0219c\u0103!!!\u201d\n\u0218i, ordon\u00e2nd \u201eOchi\u021bi!\u201d,\nO mie de cartofi pr\u0103ji\u021bi\n(Strig\u00e2nd \u201eYessir, s\u0103 tr\u0103-i\u021bi!\u201d)\nAu pornit ca din pu\u0219c\u0103.\nAu decolat la fel, \u00een tromb\u0103,\n\u0218i aripioarele picante,\nCare-au \u0219i aruncat o bomb\u0103\nDe sos picant pe ni\u0219te toante.\nApoi plutoane de copane,\nPlus o brigad\u0103 de chiftele,\nAu tras tiruri simultane\nCu chifle, \u00een loc de ghiulele.\n(S-a folosit at\u00e2ta miez\nC-au dobor\u00e2t un om obez.)\nAu fost \u0219i nuggets kamikaze,\n\u0218i castrave\u021bi mura\u021bi solda\u021bi,\n\u0218i \u00eenghe\u021bate Sundae loaze,\n\u0218i victime, ni\u0219te c\u00e2rna\u021bi.\n\u0218i cocktailuri Molotov\nCare au explodat c\u00e2nd Cola\nA zis la microfoane \u201eLove\u201d.\n(Pentru c\u0103 \u201eLove\u201d era parola).\nEroul \u00eens\u0103-a fost un mic\nCare a ap\u0103rut pe-un tanc.\nL-a nimicit pe inamic!!!\n\nDe-atunci, nu le mai spune nimeni \u201ejunk\u201d.\n\n(<em>Trecere pentru pitoni<\/em>, Ed. Arthur, 2022)\n\n\n\n<strong>\u00centr-o zi, un purice<\/strong>\n\u00centr-o zi, un purice\nCu preocup\u0103ri telurice,\nRidic\u00e2nd ochii din piele\n\u0218i uit\u00e2ndu-se la stele,\nA zis: \u201eMaaam\u0103, sunt c\u00e2t ele!\u201d\n\n(<em>Trecere pentru pitoni<\/em>, Ed. Arthur, 2022)\n\n\n\n<strong>Papa<\/strong>\nPapa, c\u00e2nd era copil\n\u0218i n-avea papamobil\n\u0218i nici chef s\u0103 se tot roage,\nSe urca pe\u2026 papainoage!\nF\u0103cea c\u00e2\u021biva papapa\u0219i\n\u0218i apoi p\u0103pa papaia,\nPapas fritas, papana\u0219i,\n\u0218i-uneori chiar \u0219i papar\u0103\nC\u0103 st\u0103tea prea mult pe-afar\u0103\nF\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 citeasc\u0103 nicio papapagin\u0103\n\u0218i f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-\u0219i bea ceaiul de p\u0103tlagin\u0103.\n\n(<em>Trecere pentru pitoni<\/em>, Ed. Arthur, 2022)\n\n\n\n<strong>Un tigru<\/strong>\nCic\u0103 \u00eentr-o zi, \u00een jungl\u0103,\nTigrul \u0219i-a pierdut o dung\u0103\n\u0218-intrigat, a zis, citez:\n\u201eCred c\u0103 m\u0103 dezintigrez!\u201d\n\n\n\n<strong>Totcezboar\u0103sem\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103<\/strong>\nLa Totcezboar\u0103sem\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103,\nPo\u021bi comanda ca s\u0103 \u00eencerci\nElicopter copt \u00een crust\u0103 cu \u0219unc\u0103\nSau dron\u0103 cu sos de ciuperci.\nSalat\u0103 Icar cu topping de cear\u0103,\nCoad\u0103 de m\u0103tur\u0103 maturat\u0103 \u00een vin,\nCiorb\u0103 cu franjuri sau sup\u0103 clar\u0103\nDe covor, \u00e0 l\u2019Aladin.\nSufleu de baloane, de lampioane,\nFriptur\u0103 de MiG cu piure,\nCrem\u0103 de Boeing cu crutoane\nSau OZN pan\u00e9.\n\n\n\n<strong>Lupi<\/strong>\nErau odat\u2019 doi lupi \u00een Hu\u0219i\nCare sunau mereu la u\u0219i\n\u0218i \u00eentrebau: \u201eVorbea\u021bi de lup?\u201d\n\u0218i dac\u0103 li se spunea \u201eNup!\u201d,\nPlecau, normal, dar prost dispu\u0219i.\n<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>F, S, V, N Isa trebuia s\u0103 scrie dar n-avea chef de scris. \u201eMai bine a\u0219 m\u00e2nca ceva\u201d, \u00een g\u00e2ndul ei \u0219i-a zis. \u0218i a m\u00e2ncat o liter\u0103 \u0219i-a ost ceva de vis! Ca cel mai tare tort de ciocolat\u0103, mai precis. Ane, nici el s\u0103 scrie n-avea stare. \u0218i el sim\u021bea un el de pot\u0103 de m\u00e2ncare. \u0218i-a auzit o voce care i-a spus: \u201eHai, mu\u0219c\u0103, S-ul \u0103sta e ca o prun\u0103 uculent\u0103 \u00eentr-o g\u0103lu\u0219c\u0103!\u201d La alt birou, \u00een alt\u0103 ca\u0103, Orina, o feti\u021b\u0103 gra\u0103 A ot ceva mai dur\u0103 \u0218i a b\u0103gat vreo dou\u0103 litere \u00een gur\u0103. Deci,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":177,"featured_media":5206,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[1111,1093,9],"coauthors":[1164],"class_list":["post-5207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-poezie","tag-carmen-tiderle","tag-nr-5-2022","tag-poezie"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Carmen-Tiderle.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5207","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/177"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5207"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5207\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5222,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5207\/revisions\/5222"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5206"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5207"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=5207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}