{"id":2970,"date":"2021-08-29T09:02:42","date_gmt":"2021-08-29T06:02:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/?p=2970"},"modified":"2021-08-31T08:43:08","modified_gmt":"2021-08-31T05:43:08","slug":"consimtamintul-fragment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/?p=2970","title":{"rendered":"Consim\u0163\u0103m\u00eentul (fragment)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Premiul Jean-Jacques Rousseau pentru autobiografie<\/strong>
Grand Prix des Lectrices de ELLE<\/em> 2020 \u2013 Document<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Crescut\u0103 de o mam\u0103 divor\u0163at\u0103, V. \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 umple prin lecturi golul l\u0103sat de tat\u0103l absent. La treisprezece ani, \u00een timpul unui dineu monden, \u00eel \u00eent\u00eelne\u015fte pe G., un scriitor cu reputa\u0163ie scandaloas\u0103. De la primele schimburi de priviri, e subjugat\u0103 de charisma acestui b\u0103rbat de cincizeci de ani, de aten\u0163ia pe care i-o acord\u0103. Mai t\u00eerziu, G. \u00eei declar\u0103 c\u0103 o iube\u015fte \u015fi c\u0103 n-o s\u0103-i fac\u0103 nici un r\u0103u. De\u015fi are doar paisprezece ani, V. i se ofer\u0103 trup \u015fi suflet. Interven\u0163ia poli\u0163iei nu face dec\u00eet s\u0103 \u00eent\u0103reasc\u0103 aceast\u0103 idil\u0103 periculos de romanesc\u0103. Dar deziluzia este teribil\u0103 c\u00eend V. \u00ee\u015fi d\u0103 seama c\u0103 G. a f\u0103cut \u00eentotdeauna colec\u0163ie de iubiri adolescentine \u015fi practic\u0103 turismul sexual \u00een \u0163\u0103ri unde minorii s\u00eent vulnerabili. \u00cen spatele aparen\u0163ei flatante de om de litere se ascunde un pr\u0103d\u0103tor, acoperit de o bun\u0103 parte din lumea literar\u0103. \u00cen ciuda rupturii, calvarul continu\u0103, c\u0103ci scriitorul nu \u00eenceteaz\u0103 s\u0103 o h\u0103r\u0163uiasc\u0103. Dup\u0103 mai bine de treizeci de ani de la \u00eent\u00eempl\u0103rile de atunci, Vanessa Springora ne ofer\u0103 acest text n\u0103ucitor, \u00eenf\u0103\u0163i\u015f\u00eend un proces de manipulare psihic\u0103 impecabil orchestrat, precum \u015fi ambiguitatea \u00eensp\u0103im\u00eent\u0103toare \u00een care se plaseaz\u0103 victima \u00eendr\u0103gostit\u0103, care consimte la abuz. Dar, dincolo de experien\u0163a personal\u0103, autoarea examineaz\u0103 derivele unei epoci \u015fi conformismul unui mediu orbit de talent \u015fi de celebritate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eSpringora spunea despre cartea ei c\u0103 este ca un mesaj \u00eentr-o sticl\u0103. Nu v\u0103 imagina\u0163i \u00eens\u0103 o sticl\u0103 r\u0103t\u0103cit\u0103 pe valurile m\u0103rii, purt\u00eendu-\u015fi r\u0103va\u015ful disperat \u00een z\u0103ri \u00eendep\u0103rtate. Consim\u0163\u0103m\u00eentul<\/em> e un cocktail Molotov aruncat \u00een fa\u0163a establishmentului francez, o oper\u0103 de o furie extrem de bine controlat\u0103, ame\u0163itoare.\u201d (The New York Times<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eO poveste cutremur\u0103toare despre abuzul asupra unui copil \u015fi parizienii sofistica\u0163i care au \u00eentors capul… Springora este o scriitoare elegant\u0103, de o sensibilitate ustur\u0103toare.\u201d (Kirkus Reviews<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201eDe o precizie implacabil\u0103, Consim\u0163\u0103m\u00eentul<\/em> arunc\u0103 o lumin\u0103 rece, necru\u0163\u0103toare asupra zonei tulburi \u00een care tr\u0103ie\u015fte orice fiin\u0163\u0103 aflat\u0103 sub domina\u0163ia cuiva.\u201d (L\u2019Obs<\/em>)<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\u201eObosit s\u0103 mai lupte, G. a \u00eencetat s\u0103 m\u0103 mai h\u0103ituiasc\u0103 cu scrisorile lui, cu telefoanele la mama acas\u0103, pe care o implora p\u00e2n\u0103 acum, la orice or\u0103 din zi \u015fi din noapte, s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eempiedice s\u0103 rup leg\u0103tura cu el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Youri a \u00eenceput s\u0103 ocupe din ce \u00een ce mai mult loc \u00een via\u0163a mea. El mi\u2011a dat curajul s\u0103 m\u0103 despart de G. \u015fi s\u0103 rezist \u00eencerc\u0103rilor lui \u00eend\u00e2rjite de a m\u0103 face s\u0103 m\u0103 r\u0103zg\u00e2ndesc. Am \u015faisprezece ani \u015fi m\u2011am mutat la Youri, care \u00eenc\u0103 locuie\u015fte cu mama lui. A mea nu s\u2011a \u00eempotrivit. Rela\u0163ia cu ea nu e tocmai cea mai lini\u015ftit\u0103. \u00cei repro\u015fez mereu c\u0103 nu m\u2011a ocrotit destul. \u00cemi r\u0103spunde c\u0103 sup\u0103rarea mea e nedreapt\u0103, c\u0103 nu a f\u0103cut dec\u00e2t s\u0103\u2011mi respecte dorin\u0163ele, c\u0103 m\u2011a l\u0103sat s\u0103\u2011mi tr\u0103iesc via\u0163a a\u015fa cum vreau.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 Tu te culcai cu el, \u015fi tot eu sunt cea care trebuie s\u0103\u2011\u0163i cear\u0103 \u0163ie scuze? \u00eemi arunc\u0103 ea \u00eentr\u2011o zi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 \u015ei faptul c\u0103 aproape n\u2011am mai c\u0103lcat pe la \u015fcoal\u0103, c\u0103 nu o dat\u0103 a fost c\u00e2t pe ce s\u0103 fiu exmatriculat\u0103 nu \u0163i\u2011a dat deloc de g\u00e2ndit? Ai fi putut s\u0103\u2011\u0163i dai seama c\u0103 lucrurile nu merg chiar grozav, nu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar dialogul e cu neputin\u0163\u0103. Logic, dac\u0103 a acceptat rela\u0163ia mea cu G. \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 m\u0103 considera deja adult. \u015ei, drept urmare, eu \u015fi numai eu sunt cea care trebuie s\u0103\u2011\u015fi asume alegerile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Din momentul acela nu\u2011mi mai doresc dec\u00e2t un singur lucru, s\u0103 duc din nou o via\u0163\u0103 normal\u0103, o via\u0163\u0103 de adolescent\u0103 de v\u00e2rsta mea \u015fi, mai ales, s\u0103 nu ies cu nimic \u00een eviden\u0163\u0103, s\u0103 fiu ca toat\u0103 lumea. Lucrurile ar trebui s\u0103 fie mai u\u015foare acum. Sunt la liceu. O s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentorc la \u015fcoal\u0103. N\u2011o s\u0103 bag \u00een seam\u0103 privirile pe care mi le arunc\u0103 ceilal\u0163i elevi pe furi\u015f, o s\u0103 mi se rup\u0103 de b\u00e2rfele care \u00eencep s\u0103 circule printre profi: \u201eHei, ai v\u0103zut, e fata aia care tocmai a intrat \u00eentr\u2011a noua, cic\u0103 G.M. venea \u00een fiecare zi s\u2011o a\u015ftepte la ie\u015fire, mi\u2011au povestit mie ni\u015fte colegi de la Pr\u00e9vert\u2026 \u00ce\u0163i dai seama, \u015fi p\u0103rin\u0163ii erau de acord cu asta!\u201c. \u00centr\u2011o zi, c\u00e2nd tocmai beam o cafea la tejgheaua bistroului unde mai ard gazul elevii \u00eentre dou\u0103 ore de curs, un profesor se a\u015faz\u0103 l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine. M\u0103 \u00een\u015ftiin\u0163eaz\u0103 c\u0103 se vorbe\u015fte despre mine \u00een cancelarie. \u201eTu e\u015fti fata care se \u00eent\u00e2lnea cu G.M.? I\u2011am citit toate c\u0103r\u0163ile. Sunt un admirator de\u2011al lui.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar fi fost a\u015fa mi\u015fto dac\u2011a\u015f fi putut s\u0103\u2011i r\u0103spund: \u201eSerios? Atunci e\u015fti un porc \u00eempu\u0163it\u2026\u201c. Dar, desigur, trebuie s\u0103 fac frumos acum. Z\u00e2mbesc politicos, achit nota \u015fi plec \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 uit privirea libidinoas\u0103 spre s\u00e2nii mei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu\u2011i u\u015for s\u0103\u2011\u0163i recape\u0163i virginitatea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00centr\u2011o alt\u0103 zi, m\u0103 opre\u015fte un tip pe o str\u0103du\u0163\u0103 de prin \u00eemprejurimile liceului. \u015etie cum m\u0103 cheam\u0103. \u00cemi poveste\u015fte c\u0103 m\u2011a v\u0103zut de mai multe ori prin cartier cu G. \u00een urm\u0103 cu c\u00e2teva luni. \u00cemi arunc\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163\u0103 tot felul de obscenit\u0103\u0163i, \u00eenflorind pe marginea a tot ce \u015ftiu probabil acum s\u0103 fac \u00een pat datorit\u0103 lui G. O adev\u0103rat\u0103 eroin\u0103 a lui Sade!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nimic nu\u2011i excit\u0103 mai tare pe anumi\u0163i domni \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103 dec\u00e2t g\u00e2ndul la o fat\u0103 complet depravat\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O iau la fug\u0103 \u015fi ajung \u00een clas\u0103 cu lacrimi \u00een ochi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Youri face tot ce poate ca s\u0103\u2011mi tempereze accesele de melancolie, pe care le g\u0103se\u015fte greu de suportat, mai ales c\u0103 i se par nejustificate. \u201eDar uit\u0103\u2011te la tine, e\u015fti t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103, ai toat\u0103 via\u0163a \u00eenainte. Z\u00e2mbe\u015fte!\u201c Numai c\u0103 eu sunt un ghem de furie care se d\u0103 de ceasul mor\u0163ii s\u0103 se prefac\u0103 necontenit c\u0103 totul e bine, s\u0103 lase impresia c\u0103 e a\u015fa. \u00cencerc s\u0103 \u00een\u0103bu\u015f furia asta, o ascund \u00eendrept\u00e2nd\u2011o asupra mea. Eu sunt de vin\u0103. Aiurita, curva, u\u015furatica, complicea unui pedofil care justific\u0103 prin scrisorile ei de t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 \u00eendr\u0103gostit\u0103 charterele spre Manila cu nenoroci\u0163i care \u015fi\u2011o iau la lab\u0103 uitandu\u2011se la fotografii cu boyscouts<\/em>. \u015ei, c\u00e2nd nu mai pot ascunde toat\u0103 suferin\u0163a asta, m\u0103 afund \u00een st\u0103ri depresive care m\u0103 determin\u0103 s\u0103\u2011mi doresc un singur lucru: s\u0103 dispar de pe fa\u0163a p\u0103m\u00e2ntului.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015ei probabil numai Youri e\u2011n stare s\u0103 vad\u0103 asta. El m\u0103 iube\u015fte, cu toat\u0103 ardoarea celor dou\u0103zeci de ani ai lui, dar ce iube\u015fte el \u015fi mai mult e s\u0103 fac\u0103 dragoste. Cum s\u0103 te superi pe el pentru asta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

La momentul \u0103sta, \u00een ce prive\u015fte sexul, pendulez \u00eentre omnipoten\u0163\u0103 \u015fi iner\u0163ie. Sunt cur\u00e2nd cuprins\u0103 de o stare vecin\u0103 cu be\u0163ia, toat\u0103 puterea asta! E at\u00e2t de u\u015for s\u0103 faci un b\u0103rbat fericit. Dar imediat, c\u00e2nd vine momentul orgasmului, izbucnesc \u00een lacrimi f\u0103r\u0103 vreun motiv. Prea mult\u0103 fericire e tot ce pot s\u0103\u2011i r\u0103spund c\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 de ce pl\u00e2ng. Zile \u00eentregi nu suport s\u0103 fiu atins\u0103. \u015ei pe urm\u0103 ciclul infernal se reia, \u00eemi amintesc care e scopul meu \u00een lumea asta nenorocit\u0103, s\u0103 aduc pl\u0103cere b\u0103rba\u0163ilor. E condi\u0163ia mea, statutul meu. A\u015fa c\u0103\u2011mi ofer din nou serviciile, cu zel \u015fi o hot\u0103r\u00e2re disimulat\u0103 de care ajung s\u0103 m\u0103 conving singur\u0103. M\u0103 prefac. M\u0103 prefac c\u0103\u2011mi place s\u0103 fac dragoste, c\u0103 simt pl\u0103cere, c\u0103 \u015ftiu care\u2011i scopul tuturor acestor gesturi. \u00cen sinea mea, mi\u2011e ru\u015fine c\u0103 le execut cu at\u00e2ta naturale\u0163e, c\u00e2nd al\u0163ii abia se s\u0103rut\u0103 pentru prima oar\u0103. \u00cemi dau seama foarte bine c\u0103 am s\u0103rit o etap\u0103. M\u2011am gr\u0103bit, am luat\u2011o prea din timp \u015fi nu cu omul potrivit. A\u015f fi preferat s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc toate aceste momente de intimitate cu Youri prima dat\u0103. S\u0103 fi fost el cel care m\u0103 ini\u0163iaz\u0103, primul meu iubit, prima mea dragoste. Nu \u00eendr\u0103znesc s\u0103\u2011i m\u0103rturisesc asta. Nu am \u00eenc\u0103 suficient\u0103 \u00eencredere \u00een mine, \u00een el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015ei, mai ales, nu pot s\u0103\u2011i spun c\u0103 imaginea pe care mi\u2011e imposibil s\u2011o alung, de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd fac dragoste cu el, e cea a lui G.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G. promisese totu\u015fi s\u0103\u2011mi lase cea mai minunat\u0103 amintire.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Vizita\u021bi pagina c\u0103r\u021bii<\/a> pe site-ul editurii Polirom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editura Polirom v\u0103 ofer\u0103 un fragment \u00een avanpremier\u0103 din Consim\u0163\u0103m\u00eentul<\/i> de Vanessa SPRINGORA, o carte-fenomen tradus\u0103 \u00een dou\u0103zeci \u015fi dou\u0103 de limbi \u015fi \u00een curs de adaptare cinematografic\u0103. Consim\u0163\u0103m\u00eentul<\/i> este \u00een curs de apari\u021bie \u00een colec\u021bia \u201eBiblioteca Polirom\u201d, traducere din limba francez\u0103 \u015fi note de Alexandra Cozmolici.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":2972,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[164,27],"tags":[616,170,617,128,618],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-2970","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-avanpremiere","category-traduceri","tag-alexandra-cozmolici","tag-avanpremiera","tag-biblioteca-polirom","tag-polirom","tag-vanessa-springora"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Springora.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2970","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/84"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2970"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2970\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2984,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2970\/revisions\/2984"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2972"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2970"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2970"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2970"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistafamilia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcoauthors&post=2970"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}